


Breathe Easy

by raychleadele



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Emetophobia, Fake Character Death, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food Poisoning, Gen, M/M, Nightmares, Other, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting, i'll try to put relevant warnings on each chapter in the notes, there will be a happy ending but it's gonna take us a while to get there, this is like 10 percent fluff and 90 percent angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raychleadele/pseuds/raychleadele
Summary: Glamour Springs may not have been his fault, but this time it definitely, definitely is. Running away is his only option.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this fic for over three months and I am so excited to be able to share it with you guys! I want to give a big thank you to everyone over in the TAZ Fic Writers discord who have had such nice things to say about the snippets I've shared of this story over the last few months. It's finally here, guys! I'd also like to say thanks specifically to [chaWOOPa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaWOOPa/pseuds/chaWOOPa) who was responsible for coming up with a name for this fic. 
> 
> Quick warning, this chapter contains vomiting, a panic attack, and ... death?
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!

Angus had finally done it. He’d managed to outgrow Taako. It wasn’t by very much, not yet at least, but Taako was regretting not putting on his hat before opening the door.

“Hello, sir!”

“Oh that’s right, you’re on spring break or something now aren’t you?” Taako asked, nonchalantly leaning against the door frame as if he hadn’t been waiting for the boy to arrive, as if he didn’t know exactly what day it was. Kravitz knew differently, and hell, the teenage detective could probably read him like one of his nerdy books by this point, but Taako didn’t care. He picked at his fingernails, glancing up at the boy through his eyelashes. Aw _fuck_ he had to look _up_ at the kid now.

“Sure am!” Angus replied brightly, a glowing mage hand following him with several bags in tow. “I’ll be off for two whole weeks!”

“That nerdlord gives you two weeks off?” Taako huffed. “That’s too much, way more than I’ll be giving the students at _my_ school, that’s for sure, because my students will actually care about _learning_ from yours-truly.”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to be teaching?” Angus asked, his head tilting to the side like a confused puppy. Taako squashed down the feeling of amusement before it could be evident in his face. How _did_ Angus always manage to do that?

“Course not! But cha’boy’s gotta make appearances sometimes, and -”

“Taako, let the poor boy come inside,” Kravitz said, coming up behind him quite suddenly and practically lifting the disgruntled elf out of the doorway as he yelped in displeasure. Kravitz motioned the boy inside and gave him a hug. “It’s good to see you, Angus.”

“Good to see you too, Mr. Kravitz!” Angus said, grinning widely. One of the more social cats nuzzled its way around Angus’ ankles and he picked it up to say hello. Taako crossed his arms and pretended to be annoyed that the spotlight had been stolen from him.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough of all that lovey-dovey garbage,” Taako declared, peeling Angus away from Kravitz and stealing the cat from his arms. “You can dump your bags in the guestroom, or whatever. I guess it’s clean enough.” Of course it was clean. Taako had spent the whole morning making sure it was ready for its primary resident, and it was practically sparkling. “But come right back out when you’re done. I made cashew chicken for dinner tonight.”

“Oh boy! I’ve never had that before!” Angus cried, looking absolutely delighted.

“Yeah, I _know,_ Agnes, that’s what you said last time but I didn’t get a chance to make it before you had to go off to school, or whatever it is you do. So you’re getting it now.”

“I’m excited to try it. I’ll bet it’s gonna be delicious.”

“Hell yeah it is, everything I make is delicious,” Taako replied, waving him off. “Now dump your stuff, quick, before it gets cold.” Angus obeyed, disappearing into the other room with his bags, that dumb grin still all over his face.

Kravitz wrapped his arms around Taako from behind, resting his sharp chin in Taako’s hair. “I think he’s almost as happy to see you as you are to see him.”

“Aw, shut up, bone daddy,” Taako snapped noncommittally, failing to stifle the smile tugging at his lips as he petted the cat in his arms and leaned into Kravitz’ embrace. “Now get off me, I’ve got a perfect dinner to serve up.”

***

Taako was still setting the table when Angus made it into the dining room. “Would you like some help with that, sir?”

“Course not, bubuleh,” Taako said, patting a chair for Angus. “You just sit your booty down, cha’boy’s got this.” Kravitz emerged from the kitchen carrying the dish of rice and Taako gasped in mock horror. “Gimme that!” he scolded, snatching the bowl away and playfully slapping at Kravitz’ hands. _“You_ don’t get to serve the food,” he snapped. “You’re garbage in the kitchen, you’ll probably ruin the rice just by looking at it.” Kravitz just laughed and kissed him on the nose.

“Of course, love, my mistake,” he cooed, grinning at Taako’s expression of forced displeasure.

“Whatever, skeleman, you sit your ass down too,” Taako insisted, whipping his hair around dramatically as he put the rice on the table. He bustled around for several minutes, carrying plates and dishes from the kitchen with Mage Hand purely for the drama of it all as Angus eagerly watched. He finished by floating some familiar silverware into place in front of the bright eyed boy, carefully watching for his reaction. Angus raised an eyebrow at Taako and grinned as he picked up the fork in front of him.

“Sir...you’re serving me Fantasy Chinese for dinner, why aren’t we using chopsticks?”

Taako’s demeanor deflated immediately. “I - you know what? - you’re just - I worked _hard_ to find all that silverware!” he huffed. “You’re gonna give me shit about that silverware for years and when I finally find it you want _chopsticks?”_ Kravitz laughed from the other side of the table and Taako whipped around on him. “Would you - this might be funny to you, m’dude, but - I - he gets his sass from _you,_ you know!”

“I hardly think that’s true,” Kravitz chuckled.

Taako flopped himself down in his chair next to Kravitz. “You two are both _cruel,”_ he sulked. “Agnes can conjure himself some chopsticks if he wants them so badly. I was gonna let you take them back to school with you, because I thought they were important to you or something.”

Angus grinned. “I do appreciate having the silverware around again, sir,” he said. “Though I doubt I’ll have much use for them at school. We’ve got a cafeteria, you know. Seems kind of silly to bring my own silverware into the cafeteria. Maybe you can still hang on to them for me?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure they’re feeding you garbage in that cafeteria, too,” Taako mumbled, though his ears had perked back up significantly. “Yeah, I mean, you can - you can leave them here if you want, but - just don’t act all surprised when you come back and I’ve returned them to Fantasy Costco since you were so _grateful_ for them.”

“Of course we can take care of them for you, Angus,” Kravitz assured him. “Now, should we eat?”

Taako happily served up the food and they dug in. Angus’ face lit up as he tasted Taako’s cooking, and it wasn’t long before Taako was serving him seconds.

“Damn, kid, do you eat anything when you’re at school?” he asked as he scooped a second helping onto the boy’s plate.

“Well, you weren’t too far off in your assumption about the cafeteria food,” Angus said with a wide grin which was suddenly interrupted by a sneeze. He wrinkled his nose, wiggled his fingers with a curious expression on his face, sniffled, and sneezed again. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, and grinned at Taako again. “It is good to have your cooking again, though, sir.”

“I’ll have to have a talk with Lucas about what his school is feeding you,” Taako said with a smirk. “Can’t have my boy coming home starving like this, that won’t do.”

“I am a growing boy, sir,” Angus reminded him. “It’s actually quite normal for boys my age to eat a lot.”

“Yeh, whatever, you grew too much,” Taako teased. “You humans grow too much too young.”

“I can’t really help it,” Angus protested. “I’ve got a lot to do in less time than you’ve got. Including growing.” Taako scowled.

“None of that depressing life-span talk is allowed at my table, bubuleh,” he said. “Taako’s not thinking about that, not today. Krav here comes home with enough depressing stories about death, I ain’t talking about it tonight.”

“I’m sure you’ve still got plenty of time to do lots of things,” Kravitz said quickly. 

“There you go,” Taako exclaimed, “you heard it from our resident Expert on Death, Ango’s not going anywhere any time soon! Now can we _please_ change the subject?” 

“How are classes going, Angus?” Kravitz asked and Taako’s ears perked back up.

“Oh yes, give me all of Lucas’ secrets, tell me all his weaknesses so my school can be _better,”_ Taako teased, swirling his glass of wine with a mischievous grin on his face. “Silly me, I never considered how _useful_ it could be to have someone on the inside!”

“His school actually seems to be doing just fine, sir,” Angus said as he finished off his second helping. “I’m afraid I don’t have much to tell you.” Taako frowned. “Mr. Miller seems to be a pretty capable headmaster to be honest.”

“Gross,” Taako muttered to himself.

“But classes are going alright. I’m doing very well in my conjuration and illusion classes, but…” he fiddled with his napkin nervously and coughed a little, “my necromancy class is...it’s a bit harder.”

“Wait, Lucas is teaching you _what?”_ Kravitz protested.

“It’s not what you think, sir!” Angus cried defensively. “The class focuses on the evils of necromancy, of course. I know better than to actually _use_ it.”

“I betcha Barry would help out with that homework if you wanted,” Taako suggested.

“Now Taako, I don’t know if-”

“Hold on there, Krav!” Taako went on, cutting him off. “Old Barold is the best necromancer in any planar system I’ve seen. Who better to tutor our boy than Barold J. Bluejeans?”

“Do you really think he’d do that, sir?” Angus asked, looking both apprehensive and hopeful at once.

“Course, bubuleh,” Taako said casually. “Or I’ll kick his ass.”

“That would be great!” Angus said, relieved. 

“Cool, I’ll give him a call later then,” Taako said. He was aware that his pride for his magic boy was showing on his face as he grinned at Angus, but he didn’t care. Angus probably would outdo him as a magic user one day, probably soon too, and he didn’t care. Fuck it, he was proud of him. “Ready for dessert?” he asked, pushing away from the table and ready to retrieve the pie he’d baked earlier.

“Maybe a bit later,” Angus said slowly, rubbing his stomach. “I’m actually...I probably just ate too much too fast, but I feel a little funny, sirs.”

Taako felt his whole body clench up. “You gonna be alright, kiddo?” he asked, forcing his voice to sound calm, his face to stay neutral, his body to stay put rather than jump up and run.

Angus nodded, swallowing. “Yes I’ll - I’ll be fine. I’m just gonna go use the bathroom.”

Taako wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he just returned the nod stiffly and watched as Angus quickly left the room.

Kravitz tried talking about work after Angus left. Taako set his fork down on the table in front of him, not interested in eating anymore, not hearing what Kravitz was saying. Kravitz was good-hearted and kind, but he spent too much time around the dead. How could he be so blindly cheerful right now? How could he just sit there and talk about _work?_ Did he not see what was happening? Taako’s heart seemed to be moving only in ragged jumps and his ears were buzzing. How long had Angus’ chair sat empty? A few seconds? Hours? _Why wasn’t he coming back?_

“...and frankly, Barry’s doing a real bad job of covering up that lab in his basement-”

“How long has Angus been gone?” Taako snapped, cutting Kravitz off. He blinked in surprise.

“I mean...it can’t have been more than a few minutes - Hey, Taako, he’s nearly grown, he can handle going to the bathroom by himself - _Taako!”_

But Taako had already stood up from the table, dropping his napkin into his food and hurrying from the room in a sudden rush of energy, ignoring Kravitz’ pleas to mind his own business. Fuck it, he’d fed the kid, it was his business. “You okay in there, Agnes?” he called out ahead of himself as he approached the bathroom, but he didn’t bother to knock. As the door swung open, the heavy scent of vomit met Taako and he felt his stomach drop with dread. 

_A putrid smell, the first sign of what was beginning to happen._

Angus was clutching desperately at the bathroom counter, and his breath seemed to whistle in his throat as he struggled to breathe.

_That wheezing, whistling sound everywhere, deafening._

His eyes were panicked and distant. He couldn’t seem to focus on his mentor’s face as Taako called the boy’s name.

_Forty people. Eighty panicked eyes._

His skin was red and blotchy. His body burned under Taako’s hands as he desperately grasped at the boy’s trembling shoulders. His lips were turning blue and his heartbeat was wrong.

_Forty pairs of lips deprived of air. Forty hearts stuttering to a stop._

Angus’ body collapsed in Taako’s arms, having struggled too long and too hard. The wretched sound of his wheezing breath came to an abrupt stop as Taako dropped to the floor with him.

_Forty bodies dropping around him, walling him in._

Kravitz appeared at the bathroom door, drawn by Taako’s panicked shouts. “He’s not breathing, Kravitz!” he cried, clinging tightly to Angus’ limp body. Kravitz knelt briefly, taking one worried glance at Angus, then abruptly stood back up, his scythe materializing in his hand.

 _“No!”_ Taako screamed, holding Angus closer to himself and scrambling backwards. “Put that away, Kravitz!”

Kravitz stepped towards Taako, his eyes wide and worried. “Give him to me, Taako, we have to go.” He reached for the boy’s body, but Taako pulled away. “Taako, let go of him! I have to take him!” He started peeling Taako’s hands away from the body.

Taako was sobbing. “No! No, don’t take him away, Kravitz! _Don’t you dare take him!”_ But Kravitz wrested Angus out of his arms. _No, please, give me a minute, don’t take him away, don’t you steal my magic boy-_

“I need to take him, Taako! We have to go!” Kravitz insisted, tearing a hole in their bathroom with his scythe. He paused only a moment before disappearing, Angus cradled in one arm like an infant. “I’m sorry, Taako. I’ll be back soon.” And with those terrible, awful words, only seconds after he’d appeared in the bathroom door, Kravitz and Angus were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I know that was a lot. I'm asking you to trust me and stick with the story. It really will have a happy ending, even if it seems impossible right now.
> 
> I'll be posting new chapters every Saturday, so be sure to come back for more!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, things have got to get a bit worse before they get better. 
> 
> This chapter contains a depiction of a panic attack.

Taako lost track of how long he remained kneeling on the bathroom floor, dumb with shock. His magic boy was gone, ripped right from his arms by the Grim Reaper himself. He’d held his body, felt his breathing stop. How could this have happened again? There was no chance of the fault lying with anyone else this time. Sazed was locked up now, and the only other person around today had been Kravitz, and that thought was completely out of the question. Taako could be the only one responsible this time. There was no other explanation. 

_What had he done?_

Taako fought back a wave of nausea and dragged himself to his feet. His legs wavered and he grasped the bathroom counter to hold himself up, catching his own eye in the mirror. The sight of himself made his chest clench and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Hadn’t he just found Angus standing exactly here?

_Murderer._

“No! No, it’s not true!” he shouted at his reflection, but he knew his words meant nothing. Angus was dead. He had watched it happen himself. The only possible explanation was the food. Taako had fed him, and he’d died. There was no way around that fact.

_What now?_

Taako was standing at the front door before he even noticed he had moved - _had he teleported without realizing it?_ \- one hand on the doorknob and the other clutching the frame as if to hold himself inside. He stared at the road leading away from the house. Every inch of him screamed to run. 

_Running worked out fine last time._

_You lived your whole life on the road, you can do it again._

_Who’s going to want you around now anyway?_

It made sense. It was the only possible solution.

_But wait._

Taako hesitated. Maybe there was one other option. He slammed the door and hurried back to his room, rummaging through his things until he found his stone of farspeech. With trembling hands and a pounding heart he tuned it to Lup’s frequency.

_Give me just one reason to stay, Lup. Please._

Her voice crackled in brightly from the other line. “Koko! What’s up, bro?” Taako swallowed and plunged right in.

“Lulu...theoretically, if someone very important were killed...an innocent person, by accident...theoretically, could you or Barry do something about that?”

“Well, theoretically, sure!” she responded, and her voice seemed a bit too cheerful for the subject at hand. “Not that we ever would, of course. Bar enjoys studying the necromantic arts, sure, but he still follows all the rules, in spirit if not by the letter. Besides, you know how quickly we’d get our asses slammed into the Eternal Stockade for that? Not exactly eager to sign up for eternal imprisonment myself. I had a taste once. A decade is long enough for me.”

Taako nodded. “Yeah, I guess that tracks,” he muttered. His stomach sank like a stone.

“Why, what’s this about?”

“Nothing,” he replied quickly. “Nevermind.”

“Ko?” she pressed, her voice suddenly changing to concern. “What’s going on?” He turned off the stone without answering.

Of course he couldn’t ask her to do that for him. What had he been thinking? He could never ask Lup to risk getting sent to ghost jail, not even for Angus.

That meant there was only one option left.

_No, please. There has to be a reason to stay this time._

Taako began racing through the names of every person he knew, desperate to find any reason to stay, even one single person who might not reject him. But everyone he knew had adored Angus; they had certainly loved that boy more than they had ever liked Taako. They would all hate him now. Even those who might not hate him immediately had too much at stake - he’d already come to the conclusion that asking Lup to put herself at risk was more than he could ever do - and while Ren might not disown him, there was the school to think of. She might want to change the name, sure, but she might still be able to make her investments in it work out - that wouldn’t be a possibility if she was found to be harboring a murderer. He couldn’t do that to her, either.

He was alone.

In the time it had taken him to come to that conclusion he had already packed a bag. He had clothes, his new umbrella, the KrEbStAr...he knew he would need food eventually, but the idea of even looking at his kitchen was sickening. His fingers hovered over his stone of farspeech for a moment, but he left it on the bedside table. Who would he call, anyway?

He lingered in the doorway to his room for only a moment, gazing back at the empty bed. _Kravitz said he would be back soon._ Yeah, and fuck him for saying that. Taako knew better than to trust those words. 

He locked the front door with a spell and left his keys inside. He was on the road, alone, again.

***

Lup trotted down the creaky wooden stairs into the musty basement where Barry was busy working on some kind of experiment in his lab that looked just a touch illegal. “Bar, has Taako ever expressed any interest in necromancy to you?”

He shrugged, not looking up from the jar he was fiddling with - _gods, what was that filled with_ \- and shoving his glasses up his nose. “Not really, why?”

Lup plopped herself down on a stool, shoving some vials out of the way so she could lean against his work bench. “Just got a weird call from him, asking about the possibility of raising the dead.” Barry set the mystery jar down, suddenly looking very interested.

“Anyone in particular?”

Lup shook her head. “He didn’t say.”

Barry shrugged again. “I wouldn’t think too much of it. He’s a curious guy, Lup. He may not admit it, but he likes learning. Think about it. He’s building a school. That’s not something you do unless you’re passionate about education...Unless you’re scamming your students.” He laughed openly for a moment then abruptly stopped and frowned. “Wait...he isn’t, _is_ he?”

“No, it’s definitely for real,” Lup chuckled. 

“Maybe he’s thinking about offering a course on the subject.” 

“Oh, Kravitz would love that!” Lup said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“If he asks about it again, go ahead and invite him over. I could give him a tour of the lab, so long as he promises not to blab about it.”

“What, you wanna be his new prof or something?” she teased, grinning and poking him.

“Gods, no!” Barry laughed. “If only because I don’t need your brother to be my boss. Hell, my other boss. I already report to Kravitz. Can you imagine working for _both_ of them?”

Lup smirked for a moment, but the uneasy knot in her gut overrode the amusement. She sighed. “Maybe you’re right...it just seemed like there was something off about his voice when he asked.”

“If anyone important had died, we’d know about it by now. I’m sure everything is fine,” Barry assured her.

“I guess you’re probably right,” Lup said with a sigh. “I just worry about him, yaknow?” She snagged the jar from its place on the table in front of Barry and fiddled with it. There was a lung inside it, probably harvested from a recent reaping job when Kravitz wasn’t looking. Kravitz had a habit of not watching what Barry took on purpose - while it was technically unapproved, his research had proved helpful on multiple occasions, so he usually let it slide. “I hate the feeling that there’s something going on that I can’t help with,” she added, the lung sloshing around in the jar she held. “I was...I was helpless for too long. I’m sick of it.”

Barry watched her closely as she spoke, intent on absorbing her words. “You’re not helpless now, you know,” he said gently.

“I know,” she muttered thoughtfully. “What the _fuck_ is this lung for, by the way?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out!” Barry replied brightly, suddenly looking excited to talk about his work. He pushed up his glasses as he took the jar back from Lup. “Remember that ritual we broke up last week? This is one of the things they had for the ritual and...well, why would you only need _one_ lung? Why not both? Why only the _left_ one? If I can figure that out, if I can figure out what they were planning to do with it, we should be better prepared to prevent similar rituals in the future.” He pulled out a stack of notes to show Lup, running her through his outlines and showing her the runes and symbols he’d copied from the worksite. Lup was caught up in his enthusiasm pretty quickly, and she was happy to talk through theories with him.

Then she got a call from their boss.

***

_The thing about panic is that it makes anything seem rational._

He couldn’t go into town - anyone would recognize him. A life of anonymity was off the table this time. Everyone in reality knew the seven birds, everyone knew Taako from TV. This morning that had been the ideal, but not anymore. _“I think that everyone in reality is going to love you,”_ he’d been told, but now that seemed like a joke. Taako from TV was a murderer.

When Taako had first told Kravitz about what happened at Glamour Springs, he’d been kind and patient and understanding. But of course he was, he dealt with death every day. The death of forty strangers meant nothing to him. Taako had yet to see how he would react to the death of a loved one, though - and he’d grown to love that dumb detective boy a lot. Acted like he was his own son, even. Taako had a feeling, like a sickness in his gut, a tightening in his chest, that Kravitz wouldn’t be so quick to forgive this time.

Taako had no intention of facing the wrath of a reaper. And he certainly didn’t want to witness the moment Kravitz inevitably decided he couldn’t love Taako anymore. 

Everyone always either died or left. That was how it had always been. That was why he was always so closed off. His first mistake had been to let himself get so close to all these idiots. Now Angus was dead, and no one would have him anymore. He should have never opened up in the first place.

So now being alone was his only option. There would be no caravan hopping, not this time, no strangers from Criagslist to adventure with. So he might as well suck it up. Yeah, it hurt, but who the fuck cares about how Taako feels, huh? Ain’t no one ever looked at a killer and thought “Aw, poor guy, must suck to be him,” and no one was gonna say “Poor Taako” either. Because Taako was no good. Because Taako ruins everything good, and being around Taako only hurts in the end, and if there was anyone he cared about at all, he had better leave them behind as quickly as possible, because everyone was better off without Taako. 

And fuck it all, Taako was probably better off without them, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still with me after these first two chapters, THANK YOU! Everyone has been very kind so far, and I appreciate all of you! Come back next Saturday for Chapter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's another really brief panic attack in this chapter, but we get some Reaper Squad time!

As a wizard, Taako didn’t have any healing magic and, much to his dismay, after centuries of shepherding the dead Kravitz couldn’t recall a single healing spell. What a shitty bard he was. He should’ve started brushing up on his healing spells the minute he had made a home among the living again. But he couldn’t do anything about that now, and the only thing he could do was to go to someone else.

And, gods damn him, the first healer he could think of was Merle.

To give him credit, Kravitz had never seen him so competent. For as much as his family liked to give him shit for the ways he used magic - or, as often as not, didn’t - Merle was very good at acting under pressure. So when Kravitz came tearing into his living room that afternoon carrying the limp body of Angus, Merle lept right into action. 

Angus didn’t die, but it was a close call. Kravitz could feel the boy’s soul flickering in time with his faltering heartbeat, like a candle about to be snuffed out. As Merle’s magic swept over his body, Kravitz could feel his soul swell and recede again only to swell once more, the tide of life returning to his body. Breath returned to his lungs, his heartbeat evened, his skin returned to its normal color, and finally, after far more spells than Kravitz felt it should take, consciousness returned. As Angus’ eyes drifted open, Kravitz let out a forceful sigh of relief. He hadn’t realized until then that he had stopped breathing himself.

“Mr. Kravitz! Goodness, did I fall asleep? I didn’t realize how tired I was. I know I just finished my midterms, and I have been studying very hard recently but…” Angus’ bright voice trailed off as he sat up, slowly realizing where he was as he caught sight of Merle sitting nearby, looking quite worn out himself by now. “Oh… oh no. I didn’t just fall asleep, did I?” he whispered.

“Fraid not, kid,” Merle half chuckled. 

“Do you remember any of what happened, Angus?” Kravitz asked, trying not to press him but still anxious to confirm that he was in fact okay. Angus nodded solemnly.

“I’m starting to remember, yes. I started feeling kind of funny at dinner, then I went to the bathroom and got sick…” He frowned a little, then looked over at Merle. “I guess you must have fixed all that, huh Merle? Er, _Earl_ Merle.”

Merle grinned upon hearing his ridiculous title. “Sure did. As much as I could, anyway. Only so many spells I can use at a time, of course, and you were in pretty bad shape, but I’d say I fixed you up pretty good.”

“Pretty good, yeah,” Angus agreed, then looked around. “Where’s Mr. Taako?”

“Sorry, Angus,” Kravitz said, “I left in such a hurry with you that I left him behind.”

Angus looked distressed. “He’s gonna be real worried, sir.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll call him. I just wanted to make sure you were okay first,” Kravitz assured him. “Merle, do you know what might have caused this?”

“Hell if I know!” Merle exclaimed, shrugging wildly. “You just burst into my house with a dying kid! What am I supposed to know?”

“I was feeling fine before dinner…” Angus muttered to himself, trying to piece together what had happened.

“Whatdja eat?” Merle asked.

“Taako made cashew chicken. It was delicious but…” He sighed. “Of course. Cashews are a common allergen. I’ve never had them before. That must be what it was.”

“It would explain why you got sick but we didn’t,” Kravitz replied thoughtfully.

“Can you even have allergic reactions, Mr. Kravitz? You’re dead.”

“That’s a fair point, but it’s a question I don’t have the answer to,” Kravitz conceded. 

“Mr. Merle, do you know of any way to check for food allergies?” Angus asked. “I think it would be best if we could confirm that my hypothesis is correct.”

Merle shrugged again. “Only way I can think of is to try the food again, then stop the reaction before it gets too far. Can’t right now, though. I’m done spent. It’ll have to wait til later. In the meantime, I can have Mavis go buy us some cashews to have on hand to do the experiment later.”

“Sounds like a harsh method,” Kravitz said, frowning and eyeing Angus with concern. He’d only just recovered, after all, and Kravitz was not eager to put him through that again.

“But it’s a scientifically valid one,” Angus pointed out. “Merle’s already proven he can counteract the symptoms, and I know what to watch out for now. I’m willing to try it.”

Kravitz didn’t like the plan, but he didn’t have an alternative idea. “Fine,” he said, “but be careful about it.”

“I’m always careful,” Angus said with a grin, and while Kravitz didn’t believe that was entirely true, he was the apprentice of _Taako_ after all, he believed the boy did intend to be.

“Thank you for your help so far, Mr. Merle,” Angus said. “You mind if I rest somewhere? This whole ordeal has left me feeling quite tuckered out.”

“If you must,” Merle said with an exaggerated sigh, though there was a gleam of affection in his eyes. “I’ve got more rooms in this house than I need, you can take your pick.”

“And Mr. Kravitz, you _will_ call Taako, won’t you?” Angus pressed, looking exceptionally worried. “I know a bit about his...his history regarding the Glamour Springs case. Well, quite a bit actually, I did some research on it after he told me about it...but I’m afraid he’s going to be feeling quite bad about all this. I want to make sure he knows I’m doing alright.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll call him right now,” Kravitz assured him. Angus looked relieved. Kravitz hugged the boy tight. “I’m very glad you’re okay, Angus. I know he’ll be glad to hear it, too.”

Merle escorted Angus to a room where he could rest and Kravitz stepped outside to call Taako from the front porch. He pulled his stone of farspeech out of his pocket, rubbed the pattern of Taako’s frequency onto the smooth surface and waited for Taako to pick up.

Taako didn’t pick up.

The stone rang a full ten times before it timed out and shut off. Kravitz frowned. He couldn’t have misdialed - he could call Taako in his sleep. He dialed again, and again it rang and rang and stopped with no answer. Something wasn’t right. Why wasn’t Taako picking up?

Mavis came out of the house just as the third call was ending, just as fruitlessly as the first two. She had her purse over her shoulder and her beard, which had begun coming in nicely in the last few years, was neatly groomed.

“Nice to see you, Mr. Kravitz,” she said as she passed by, polite as ever. “I heard about what happened to Angus. Glad he’s doing okay now. I’m gonna go get some cashews, I’ll be back soon.”

“Uh...yeah, thanks - thanks, Mavis,” Kravitz stammered as he dazedly watched her descend the steps and trot off down the path towards the road. He fidgeted with the stone a moment more before deciding to call someone else.

“Hey, boss man!” Lup’s voice crackled brightly from the stone. “Got work for us to do?”

“Lup, have you heard from Taako recently?”

“Uh...yeah, actually,” she responded slowly. “He called earlier. Asking some odd questions about necromancy. Why, what’s up?”

“...He was asking about what?”

“What’s going on, boss man?”

“It’s just...Angus got sick, and...well, I’m sure it’s nothing, but now Taako isn’t answering his stone-”

“What do you mean? Is he okay?”

“Angus is fine-”

“No, not Angus - I mean, I’m glad to hear that, but - my brother, Taako, is he-”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Lup, I just - I just can’t get ahold of him is all. And I don’t want to leave Angus-”

Before he could finish the thought, Lup’s scythe was out and she was stepping through the portal she had ripped into her brother’s home. “Taako?” she yelled into the house. There was no response. She blazed through the house, going room to room as quickly as her mortal form would allow. “Kravitz, he’s not here!” she shouted into the stone, panic rising in her chest. She could feel her soul starting to vibrate in her body. Her brother was missing. Her heart was gone.

The most unnerving part was that she could tell he had been here very recently. She must have just missed him. She could _smell_ him here. There was the smell of the cashew chicken still left on the kitchen table of course - a good dish, she’d had it before - and the rotten smell coming from the bathroom where someone had gotten sick, but that wasn’t it. Somewhere beneath all that ran a distinct smell of cinnamon from his baking, the sharp scent of his hairspray, that petrichor scent that always cropped up after he cast something. Yes, he had just been here. 

But he was gone now.

She forced herself to take a few deep breaths, trembling as she calmed her panicking soul. She couldn’t lose it, not now. If she let the panic get to her, she might just fly apart. _Get a grip,_ she told herself. _He’s not dead. You’d know by now if he was._ One of the perks of working for the literal queen of death. You always were the first to know when someone was gone. So he was still alive, she could know that for sure, but alive didn’t mean safe. Listening to the horrors of Wonderland had taught her that very well. But this time there wasn’t anyone for her to chew up and spit out in revenge. If he’d disappeared from the house this quickly he must be hurting and scared and _she couldn’t do anything about it._

“Lup? Lup, are you there?” Kravitz’s voice crackled through the stone. She wondered how long he’d been trying to catch her attention.

“Yeah, I’m...yes, I’m here Kravitz. But Taako’s gone. And he left the house in a hurry.” She sat heavily on the edge of his bed, glancing around the room in a daze and feeling wholly lost. “His stone is still here, too. That’s why he’s not answering.” She took another shaky breath. Kravitz didn’t respond, which was irritating. That meant he didn’t have any answers either. “Where are you right now, Ghost Rider?” 

“I’m at Merle’s. Out on the porch.”

“Cool. I’m coming to you.” She swiped the stone off and picked her scythe back up. She hadn’t even bothered to dematerialize it when she got here. She slashed a hole in the middle of her brother’s bedroom with one hand and called her husband with the other.

“Hey beautiful! You disappeared really suddenly, what’s going on?”

“Barry, Merle’s. Now.” She hung up as she stepped onto Merle’s front porch where Kravitz stood holding his own stone, doing a bad job of not looking worried. She could hear the ripping sound of Barry arriving inside the house. “We’re out here, Bar!”

Barry emerged from the front door. He must have still been working in his lab when he abruptly left their house because he was still holding a-

“Fuck, Bar, is that a _liver?”_

Barry’s eyes widened and his face turned bright red as he realized what he was holding, here, in front of his boss, the literal Grim Reaper. He hurriedly tried to shove it into his pocket.

_“That’s_ disgusting,” Lup said, pointing at the moist lump now in the pocket of his jeans. Kravitz groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Barold, please never tell me what you were doing with that,” he grumbled.

“Happy to, boss,” Barry promised quickly, wiping his hand off on his jeans. “Now what’s going on?”

“Taako’s gone,” Lup snapped. “He ran off from the house and left his stone of farspeech behind and we can’t get ahold of him and now it’s time for Ghost Rider here to tell us _why.”_ Lup turned with a blazing glare to Kravitz. “What the _fuck_ happened, Kravitz?”

Kravitz sighed, looking down at the unresponsive stone in his hand. “Well, look. Angus came home for dinner, right? He’s on spring break. And Taako, he was so excited to have Angus home, he spent the whole day getting ready and he cooked up this big dinner and...He was so proud of it, because last time Angus was home Taako found out he’d never had cashew chicken before and he was so looking forward to making it for him, and he spent all afternoon working on it-”

“Get to the _point,_ Kravitz!”

“Right, sorry. What I’m getting at is, Angus had a reaction to the food. We think it was an allergic reaction to the cashews, but...I found Taako holding him in the bathroom. He’d already stopped breathing by the time I got there, so I knew I didn’t have any time and - damn - _dammit_ \- it’s been so long and I couldn’t remember any healing spells myself, so I just grabbed him and I brought him here.”

“You told Taako where you were going, right?” Barry asked hopefully. “Is it possible he’s on his way here right now?”

“I...no, no I didn’t,” Kravitz admitted shamefully. “He was so panicked, we were both panicking really, and I just knew I had to move fast, so - no, I barely said a word to him. I just got Angus and left.” He sighed. “In hindsight, I could’ve handled that better.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Lup muttered.

“If only he had waited at home for me!” Kravitz went on earnestly. “I told him I’d be back soon.” Lup and Barry both went quiet and stared at him for a moment.

“You told him what now?” Barry asked, his voice almost a whisper. 

Kravitz felt a chill go through his body as he realized the implications of his words. “...Oh, shit.”

Lup pressed her hands together and took a deep breath before she started her tirade, jamming a finger in Kravitz’ face.

“First of all, you don’t tell my brother you’ll be ‘back soon,’ you know that, you big idiot. I fucked that shit up a long time ago. Secondly, you’re a gods-damn _reaper,_ Kravitz. You just whip out your scythe and take the dying boy away without telling him where? Of _course_ he panicked, boss man, what did you expect him to think you were doing? He thinks Angus is dead. No wonder he ran. _Fuck!”_

Kravitz slumped down on the front step of the porch, still holding his stone of farspeech in his now trembling hands. The stone was beginning to feel warm, which, shit, that meant he was getting colder. His heart was slowing down. Had he stopped breathing? He closed his eyes and concentrated on taking slow, even breaths, willing his heart to continue its unnecessary but comforting rhythm.

“This is my fault,” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. He reopened his eyes and stared out at the empty sea in front of him. “I did this. I didn’t think, and now Taako is gone. It’s because of me.”

Lup let out a harsh sigh and stared skyward. “Look, I didn’t - maybe. Maybe that’s true. But it doesn’t fucking matter now, does it? Fuck. Taako left, and it doesn’t matter why or who did what. We need to find him, and we need to bring him home, we need to show him that it’s not his fault, that Angus is okay, that he’s not-” Her voice broke off and she turned away. Kravitz didn’t look up at her. He didn’t have to in order to know that she was crying. Barry went to his wife and rubbed her back gently and she leaned into his touch.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said calmly. “We’ll find your brother. We’re going to find Taako, and he’s going to be okay. We’ll all be okay.”

“We can’t tell Angus,” Kravitz said suddenly with a resolve that made the other two turn around. “I’m serious, we can’t. This day has been hard enough for him as it is. Can you imagine what this would do to him? To know that his - his mentor thinks that he killed him? He’d be - he’d be so upset if he found out. I don’t want to - I can’t do that to him.”

“He’s not a little kid anymore, Kravitz,” Lup told him, her words hissed through clenched teeth.

“See, that’s the thing,” Kravitz protested, “he _is_ still a kid. He’s so smart I think we forget that sometimes. And Lup - I’m sorry, but I know what your childhood was like, and - well, it wasn’t normal. You had to learn to grow up a lot faster than any kid should have to and - well, I want Angus to have as normal a childhood as possible. He shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

Lup frowned. “Fine. Whatever. He’s your kid, so you get to-”

“What? He’s not my-”

“Shut up, of course he is. Taako basically adopted him, you fell in love with Taako...boom, Angus is your son. Deal with it. My _point_ is, if that’s how you want to deal with things in your house, fine. I’ll concede that decision to you. But finding Taako is going to be a group effort, yeah? Because you might be in love with him, but I was his sister first. And you don’t get to make decisions about what I do. Capiche?”

“I wasn’t trying to - of course, Lup. Of course you’re included in this.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Not that I could ever control what you do anyway.”

“Damn straight, Reaper Man,” she grumbled. 

Barry sat down on the steps beside Kravitz, awkwardly adjusting the organ in his pocket as he did so. They didn’t look at each other but simply sat in silence, gazing out at the ocean before them. The light from the low sun flickered on the water like fire and the waves kept coming and coming, completely unaware of those that watched it, uncaring of their plight. The sound of the waves was like...well, like static. It was big and beautiful and terrifying, and Kravitz wondered what it would feel like to be carried away by a riptide. It would be awful, but surely it would feel better than this.

“Am I wrong, Barry?” he asked quietly. “Is this the wrong choice to make?”

Barry sighed. “I don’t know what the right decision is,” he admitted, “but I’m with you. I want you to know that. You’ve got my support. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Whatever both of you need,” he added, looking back at Lup. She gritted her teeth and turned away.

“Thank you, Barry,” Kravitz said, nodding. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW! Alright folks, here's the deal. This is the promise I have for you guys. Obviously Angus isn't actually dead. Neither he nor anyone else is gonna die in this story. I know this story is tagged for death, but that's just to help prepare folks for the big hit in the first two chapters. All the dying is done. (But oh boy, the angst isn't.)
> 
> Thanks for reading so far! Next chapter comes next Saturday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No particular warnings I can think of for this chapter, aside from the usual angst. Enjoy!

“You’re sure about this?” Kravitz asked nervously as he hovered over Angus. The boy was clutching the paper bag of cashews that Mavis had brought home the night before.

“Of course I am,” Angus replied resolutely. “I know what to expect this time, and Mr. Merle proved yesterday that he can counteract the symptoms. I’ll be fine.” He looked around at the small crowd who had gathered around him: Kravitz hovering close like a nervous parent; Merle standing near with his Extreme Teen Bible; Uncle Barry and Aunt Lup sitting across the table, Barry looking very interested and Lup nervously fidgeting with a small flame in her hands; Mookie watching a bit too eagerly with Mavis behind him as if ready to pin her brother down if necessary. The intent gaze of all their eyes made him more nervous than the cashews in his hand, but he took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. Really.”

“Ready when you are, kid,” Merle said, opening his book.

Angus swallowed just one. The adults watched him nervously as they waited for symptoms to show themselves, and Mookie looked so excited he might vibrate right out of his seat. Nothing happened at first, but that made sense, he told himself, he’d eaten a lot more yesterday after all. Only briefly did he begin to wonder if his hypothesis had been wrong, which would be truly bad - if he wasn’t allergic to the cashews, that might mean that something else had in fact been wrong with the cashew chicken last night - and he didn’t want to know how Mr. Taako would react to hearing that. But just as he reached for the bag to try eating another, he began to recognize the now familiar tingling in his fingers, and his nose tickled like he needed to sneeze, and his stomach felt like he might get sick, and he could feel his throat beginning to swell closed…

The sneeze finally escaped loudly and he nodded to Merle. “Yep, that’s definitely it,” he said, wiping at his watering eyes.

“Got it,” Merle said, immediately casting a healing spell. Angus could feel the symptoms quickly disappear and he grinned, giving him a thumbs up. The adults all breathed a sigh of relief.

“Aww, I thought that was gonna be cooler,” Mookie whined, drooping in his chair.

“There’s nothing cool about food allergies, Mookie,” Mavis scolded as she retrieved a glass of water for Angus. “It’s a pretty serious thing.”

“But I didn’t get to see him die yesterday!” he cried.

“Mookie, I didn’t-”

“Can I have the rest of those cashews?” Mookie blurted out, cutting off Angus’ explanation. Angus just sighed and grinned, holding out the paper bag. “Thanks!” Mookie hollered, snatching the bag away and bolting from the room.

“Well. Glad that’s taken care of,” Lup said, abruptly standing from her chair and slapping Angus on the shoulder. “Glad you’re alright, little man. Bar? Should we get out of here?”

“Sure,” Barry replied. He gave Angus a fist bump as his wife summoned her scythe. “Sorry to run so quick, kiddo. We, ah...we’ve got lots of work to do. It’s, um...reaper business, you know?”

“I...yeah, I get it,” Angus said, though his gut told him that Barry wasn’t being entirely transparent. “Thanks for being here, Uncle Barry, but I understand. You’re busy.”

“We’ll make sure to visit if we get a chance,” he promised, then turned toward the portal Lup had already disappeared through. “Boss?”

“Yeah, um - I’ll be right there,” Kravitz said, and Barry nodded before stepping through the portal himself. “Angus, I...I gotta…”

“Mr. Taako will be glad to hear it wasn’t his fault I got sick, won’t he?” Angus said eagerly. 

“I - yeah, yeah he will,” Kravitz replied, but there was a pain in his eyes and an edge to his voice that Angus didn’t understand. He pulled Angus into a hug and held him tight. “I’m glad you’re alright, Angus,” he said quietly. “You don’t mind staying here while I’m at work, right? The kids like going to the beach for spring break these days, don’t they?”

“I don’t mind,” Angus replied, leaning into Kravitz’ chest, the cool feathers of his cloak tickling his cheek. “We’ll get to go back home and see Taako soon, though, right?”

Kravitz squeezed him harder before pulling away. “I hope so, Angus.” With that, he stepped through the portal Lup had left behind, leaving Angus alone.

***

Taako didn’t bother with sleeping. Elves don’t need to anyway, which was convenient. Sleep was bound to come with unpleasant dreams. He had plenty of experience with that, but he wasn’t eager to test those waters. He knew what they would hold. But sleep also increased the risk of being spotted, and he sure wasn’t in the mood for that, either. So he skipped sleep and just kept going.

When he had exhausted himself enough that he couldn’t go on, he took to the trees. Balanced in the branches away from the road he would meditate as long as he had to. There he could regain as much energy as he needed while away from prying eyes and able to listen for passing feet. 

Sometimes he would teleport if he had the energy to do so. Travel went much faster when he could skip miles at a time. It also helped to be able to skip over towns entirely, which he did every time. He had no interest in being in a place with any sort of populace.

The third night of his journey brought his closest encounter with other people. He’d been meditating for barely more than an hour, not nearly enough to move on again, when he heard the sound of wagon wheels below him. He cracked one eye open just in time to see the small caravan roll to a stop and begin to set up camp only a few yards from where he rested. Taako muttered a curse under his breath. As quietly as possible he maneuvered through the branches to be on the opposite side of the trunk of the tree, hoping it would keep him hidden. He quickly assessed himself and concluded that, no, he didn’t have the strength yet to teleport again. He would be stuck here the rest of the night.

Taako kept careful watch of the caravan from his hiding spot, on high alert in case anyone decided to search for firewood under his tree. As he peered through the trees, he noticed a young girl scurrying among the wagons helping feed the horses. She couldn’t have been more than ten, and she was working hard. No one seemed to be watching out for her, except to bark an order in her direction, to which she would always quickly respond. Taako clenched his jaw. He knew that life. He knew it very, very well. His mind battled with conflicting memories of his own time following caravans around - one timeline in which Lup was there by his side, and another, one which he knew was false but still felt real, in which he was alone. This girl was alone too. And even though he knew his memories of being alone as a child like her were wrong, he had been alone before. He was alone now. He knew the life she found herself in almost as well as he knew his magic, perhaps even better.

As he watched, she wrapped up her chores and settled down on the ground behind one of the wagons, pulling some food from her bag. She had a few strips of dried meat and stale bread. Bland, boring, old. Before she could bite in she was called to do another task and she hurried off, leaving her food behind.

Taako barely took the time to think about what he decided to do. The urge hit him like instinct. It was a lower level spell than teleportation, and he could manage it. In the blink of an eye the dried meat changed to a hot, moist roasted cut of meat, and the dried bread became a warm, freshly baked roll. Crusty on the outside, soft on the inside. With some butter melting over it. That was a nice touch.

Regret came over him as soon as he had done it. He turned away quickly, pressing himself into the bark of the tree and hiding his face in his hands. _What had he done?_ Didn’t he know well enough by now not to do that? His spontaneous act of kindness was likely to be the girl’s death. How many people had he killed by using his magic to mess with food? How soon would she be joining Angus in the afterlife because of his recklessness?

He turned back, wondering if he could undo what he’d already done, but it was too late. She’d already returned and found the hot, steaming food waiting for her. She looked around, confused, wondering what kind soul had slipped her a hot meal, then took a careful bite of the meat. Taako clutched the tree so tightly that the bark cut into his skin as he watched in horror. A smile emerged on her face as she tasted the food, and she ate the rest ravenously. Taako felt like he could barely breathe. Nothing seemed to change, she didn’t appear to suddenly get sick, but he couldn’t be sure how long the effects of what he’d done might take to show themselves.

Taako anxiously watched her all night. She slept soundly, and there was no sign of illness, no hitch in her breath or discoloration of her skin. Still, Taako refused to assure himself that she was going to be fine until the caravan left the next morning, after she’d completed her morning chores and hurried off down the road after the wagons as they rumbled away. 

Taako breathed a sigh of relief as they left, kicking himself for putting the girl at risk and losing any rest he could have gotten in the process. Now he would have to lose more time trying to catch up on the meditation he should have done last night before he would be able to get on the move again. He grumpily folded his legs into his chest and closed his eyes, ready to try to rest again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _blows a kiss at taako. and angus. and kravitz. and everyone else._ Listen, I just love them all.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has been reading and enjoying my story! Your response has been overwhelming and wonderful and every comment brings me joy. Come back next Saturday for more!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back, and we're gonna get a Whole Lotta Lup!

Kravitz quietly scrubbed the floor of the bathroom in the home he and Taako shared - that they would be sharing, if he hadn’t made such a mess of things the day before. It had started here, in this bathroom, when he had acted just a bit too quickly and had spoken just the wrong words and not said the right ones. He still didn’t know what to do to fix that mess, but this - well, this one he could do something about. 

He didn’t feel any less helpless about the bigger mess, though.

The front door opened. He could hear it. He heard the footsteps in the front hall and maybe-

Kravitz dropped the scrub brush he’d been using and leapt to his feet, practically running down the hall. As he moved he heard the other person’s footsteps pick up speed too and then-

_“Oh!”_ Lup and Kravitz ran right into each other as they rounded the corner. Kravitz was startled so badly his skin vanished involuntarily. They both looked at each other, their mutual hope rapidly changing to surprise then disappointment.

“I - I’m sorry, I-” Kravitz stammered.

“No, it’s-” Lup cut him off awkwardly, “I heard someone else in the house and thought maybe-”

”Yeah, me too,” Kravitz finished. They both knew who they’d been hoping to see, and it wasn’t each other. Kravitz put his skin back on with a sigh. “I was just cleaning up the bathroom.”

“Oh, yeah, good call,” Lup said quickly. “I was actually stopping by to - I noticed the kitchen never got cleaned after - well - since I know how Taako likes it…” Her voice trailed off. Kravitz nodded, knowing what she meant. Taako’s kitchen was huge, designed by himself, and he was very particular about it. It was just about the only thing in his life that he kept at all organized and clean. It would be good to have it in working order for him. _If he ever comes back to see it,_ Kravitz couldn’t help but think, _if he ever wants to cook again._

“Um...right,” Lup continued finally. “Well, I’m gonna get to it.”

“Yeah. Thank - thank you for coming. To help out, I mean.”

Lup nodded and walked away without a response and Kravitz went back to work in the bathroom.

It was a bit unnerving, really, hearing the sound of clanking pans and running water coming from the kitchen and knowing it wasn’t Taako. It was normally such a comforting sound to hear, knowing Taako was busy doing what Taako loved. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t here, and the sound didn’t come from him, and Kravitz knew when he heard the cupboards open and close as the pots and pans were put away that they were being put away indefinitely. As he finished cleaning the bathroom he thought maybe he should offer to help Lup finish up in the kitchen, but no. He didn’t want to be in there. Not without Taako. 

When Lup was finally satisfied with the state of the kitchen, all the dishes put back in their places and the counters sparkling clean, she found Kravitz. He was laying on his bed - on his and Taako’s bed - his feet still resting on the floor as if he’d intended to only sit down for a moment. He was clutching Taako’s abandoned stone of farspeech in his hands and staring at the ceiling. One of the cats was curled up on one of the pillows nearby, okay with being ignored. Kravitz didn’t respond when she came into the room. She sat down heavily beside him, not commenting on how obvious it was that he’d been crying. 

“Listen,” she said quietly, “I’m sorry I got so pissed at you yesterday.”

Kravitz shook his head. “You were right to be angry. It’s my fault.”

“Maybe that’s true. I won’t lie and say it’s not. But I know you care about him a lot.” When Kravitz didn’t answer she flopped backwards to lay beside him, cupping one hand behind her head. The cat stood from the pillow and gave her a look of sleepy annoyance before hopping off the bed. “Barry’s drawn up a...a plan of attack, you might say. For how to look for him. I think, with his plan, we’ll have a decent shot.”

“Taako’s very lucky to have you for a sister, you know,” Kravitz said. “The whole family he has, really. That you both have. It’s...it’s good.”

“Ain’t luck, Skull Face,” Lup said with conviction. “We worked real hard to build this family.” She rolled onto her side and leaned on her elbow to look at him. “You’re part of that family too, you know. Just cause I got pissed at you yesterday doesn’t mean you’re not.”

Lup was like sandpaper, abrasive in a way that softened the people around her. As they lay next to each other, Kravitz could feel her scraping away at the tougher corners of his exterior, and he understood why Taako loved her. 

***

Barry was thorough and methodical. He made a list of every person Taako knew, never leaving anyone off, and spent nearly two days calling each of them on his stone of farspeech. Magnus was the first to get a call, naturally, but Barry wasn’t surprised to hear that Taako wasn’t there. Magnus, of course, was worried and immediately found a dog sitter and began packing his bags to meet them at Merle’s beach house. Davenport seemed like a long shot but of course he got a call, too; he was sympathetic to their search but had neither seen nor heard from Taako and was too far away to be of much assistance otherwise. Barry knew how unlikely it was that Lucretia or Lucas would have seen him, but they got calls too, and they ended up being the dead ends Barry expected them to be. Even Ren didn’t know where he was. Once the list of names was exhausted and double checked, he began marking every location Taako had ever visited before and started making arrangements to visit every one. Had Lup not been so busy worrying about her brother, she might have marveled at how good at this Barry was.

“This is ridiculous!” Lup shouted the morning after Barry had finished his calls. “Where could he have gone? None of this seems logical. This could take weeks! Think of how far he could go in that time! Where do we even start? Why wouldn’t he contact me? This isn’t fair! _Fuck_ this!”

Barry sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I figure the best method should be to start with the locations closest to his home and start working out from there.”

“Yeah, of course, of course…” Lup muttered, leaning over the map of Faerun splayed across the table in front of her husband. “I just wanna know why he won’t call me. I just wanna know he’s okay. Doesn’t he realize that?”

Barry looked at his wife across from him, still beautiful even in her fear and anger, and suddenly the stress and the sleepless nights caught up to him. His body began to shake and the tears began to run between his fingers as he covered his face, and Lup looked startled at this unexpected rush of emotions coming from her husband.

“Barry...are you alright?”

“It’s just...you realize we’ve done this before, right? Taako and I, we did exactly this when we went looking for you. And then I did it alone, I searched for you alone for nearly, what was it, twelve years? And a lot of that time I didn’t even remember you, I didn’t even know what I was searching for. You’re worried about a few weeks, Lup? I’m worried about months. Years, even. I got you back and now I have to do it all over again.”

“Oh...oh, Barry, I’m so sorry…” Lup walked around the table to her husband, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and intertwining her fingers in his hair as she held his damp face to her chest. “Barry, I never meant to diminish what it is that you’re doing. I know you’re doing the best that you can.”

“I know...I know…” He sighed and she released him as he wiped the moisture from his face. “At least he hasn’t checked into the Astral plane, we know that, and he hasn’t got any soul-eating artifact as far as we know, so everything points to him still being alive. We at least have that hope this time.”

“True,” Lup muttered. She understood that knowledge was an advantage over what they’d had when she disappeared so many years ago. She felt a bit guilty about that. But as she pushed down the unpleasant memories of her decade in the dark her guilty look changed to a smirk and she got a wistful look in her eye. “I still gotta rebuild that umbrella.”

“No! Lup, no. No no no!” Barry’s voice was playful but firm, one hand grasping at her waist and the other wagging a finger in her face. She giggled. 

“But Barry, it was so _useful!”_

“No! It _ate_ you last time!”

She shrugged. “Just a kink to work out...I think I can build one that absorbs power without consuming liches. Image how useful it could be on a reaping job!”

It was Barry’s turn to look wistful as he recalled some of the incredible power they had witnessed while out on assignment. “Good point...but only if you can work out it’s vore kink! Only then will I give my blessing.”

“I think I can handle that,” Lup assured him with a grin.

The flame from a candle is small. Its heat is not enough to warm a room like a fireplace blaze, but its light is enough to dispel some of the darkness surrounding it. As Lup leaned down to kiss her husband, his kiss felt like that. The chill of her fear and worry did not go away, but she felt like some of the darkness surrounding her was pushed away, even if only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, oh boy, everyone's just barely holding it together, huh? Let me know your thoughts in the comments because I love hearing what you guys think and I respond to every one! Come back next Saturday for chapter six, which honestly is one of my favorite chapters in this entire thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. This chapter is one of my favorites. I have a lot of feelings about Kravitz and his relationship with the Raven Queen.

The work of a reaper never stops. People die every day. Before the day the Hunger came, Kravitz never had a day off. Taking on Lup and Barry as reapers had allowed them to share his usual workload so they were all able to maintain lives amongst the living. But when Taako disappeared and they found themselves with the new time-consuming task of finding him, the work didn’t stop. Kravitz knew Barry would be the best at searching for him, and that Lup would be distracted at work to the point of uselessness until her brother was found, so he returned to his old workload to allow them the time to spearhead the search.

That of course didn’t mean he was any less distracted by Taako’s absence than Lup would’ve been. He was constantly on the move, hopping from reaping to reaping, but at every stop he searched for Taako, no matter how unlikely he was to be found at each location. Each time he returned to the Sea of Souls he double checked the records for Taako’s name, but it never showed up. With each piece of paperwork he filed that didn’t bear Taako’s name he breathed a sigh of relief, while also growing more and more frustrated at the fruitlessness of their efforts. All he wanted was to return home with Taako, but the opportunity to do so continued to elude him.

He checked in with the others as often as he could, but the search seemed to be going nowhere. Once when he had a few brief hours between reapings he returned to the home he had shared with Taako, but it felt too cold and empty without him, so after that he got Susan to feed the cats again and spent his rare breaks with those who had set up camp at Merle’s home, or alone in the Astral plane.

The Raven Queen naturally was not one to not notice what was going on in the lives of her reapers, so Kravitz’s unusual behavior caught her attention quickly, as did the distinct absence of her two newest reapers. She did not usually concern herself with the lives of mortals except when they pushed the boundaries of death so she was not aware of what change might have happened to affect her reapers so, but she knew Kravitz had grown close to the other two and that he might be able to offer an explanation of both his unusual behavior and theirs.

Being summoned by the Raven Queen was an odd experience, even after so many innumerable years. Only in the most serious of circumstances did she communicate face to face, and Kravitz knew he had some explaining to do, so it was with some apprehension that he approached his Queen. In truth, he was never sure if he came to her or if she came to him. He entered her court, moving as if in a dream, and in a way both gradual and sudden her presence was there. 

The Raven Queen’s form shifted and moved in a way that made it impossible to see her whole form. Whether she was before him, or beside, or surrounding him was difficult to tell, but usually it felt like all at once. He did in fact feel her more often than he saw her, the brush of a feather against his skin a both unnerving and familiar feeling. It was unclear whether the room was dark or if she simply absorbed the light. Her shadowy form shifted and roiled, occasionally revealing a massive beak amongst her feathers but never eyes. Still, Kravitz could feel her looking at him. Her gaze was unmistakable. 

Kravitz knelt on the cold polished stone floor, his feathered cloak crafted after the image of his goddess, his mother, pooling heavily around his knees. Rumbling through the room like distant thunder on every side of him, the Raven Queen spoke.

“YOU ARE FEELING GUILTY, KRAVITZ.”

Kravitz cocked his head to the side, considering her statement. He hadn’t put that word to it before, guilt, but yes. She was right. He felt guilty that his own inability to communicate clearly had scared Taako so badly that it had driven him to run away. He felt guilty that the search for Taako had been left almost entirely up to Lup and Barry, and that his own scattered efforts had produced nothing. He felt guilty for keeping Angus in the dark, even though he felt their silence on the subject was justified. He felt guilty that his own anxiety had affected his work enough to draw the attention of his Queen. But her words had been a statement, not a question, so he kept silent and did not voice his thoughts out loud.

“YOU MAY STAND, MY CHILD,” her voice rumbled once more. He obeyed.

“I apologize if I have not been...If I have been neglecting my duties, my Queen,” he said quietly. He felt a bit like a child waiting for a reprimand from his teacher, knowing it was deserved, but the reprimand did not come. Instead, he felt her form envelop him even more closely, bringing with it a coolness that was refreshing like cold water on a hot day and a pressure that was comforting like a strong embrace. His mind stuttered and skipped at the idea of receiving a hug from his Queen, but it was a soothing sensation so he accepted it.

“I DID NOT CALL YOU HERE TO LISTEN TO YOUR APOLOGIES OR EXCUSES. I WANT ONLY TO UNDERSTAND.”

“You want...I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow?”

“YOU HAVE BEEN MY SERVANT FOR CENTURIES, KRAVITZ. YOU ARE MY CHILD. YOUR WELLBEING IS IMPORTANT TO ME. TELL ME OF YOUR TROUBLES, MY SON.”

Kravitz sighed, relaxing into her presence. “Taako is gone,” he breathed, nearly choking on the words. He was surprised how cathartic he found it to say to her. “He left several days ago, and I don’t know where he’s gone. I haven’t heard from him once. I’m worried, mother.”

“AND MY OTHER REAPERS ARE SEARCHING FOR HIM NOW.”

“They are. I have been covering their shifts so they can look for him,” Kravitz explained. “They’re his family, after all.” 

“ARE YOU NOT HIS FAMILY, TOO?”

Kravitz didn’t know how to answer. “Well...yes, I suppose I’d like to think so, but…” His voice trailed off. Perhaps it was only because he had been made a part of Taako’s family so recently compared to the others, but he felt like his claim on Taako’s heart was small, especially when compared to his sister. He would be abandoned in favor of Lup without a second thought, he’d never had any doubt of that, not since their first awkward meeting in Phandalin. It was a fact that he’d always accepted, knowing that Taako would never love him so well as he loved Lup. That didn’t bother him, not really. It was as it should be. Of course Taako would always love Lup best. But now, being asked if he saw himself as part of the family, of importance equal to Lup...he just couldn’t.

“YOU LOVE HIM.”

“He...he made my heart beat again,” Kravitz said earnestly. “It was still for centuries, but with him...it moves again. Love seems like too small a word for that.” The fear and anxiety and guilt and anger and sadness he had been trying to ignore for several days suddenly crashed over him, pounding into his heart and soul with a force and weight like a tsunami. He realized with some alarm as he began to shake that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel all of it fully until this moment, and it was overwhelming. There was something else there though, something small, like a pair of hands reaching out to share the weight of what he felt, and after a moment’s resistance, he released. It was as if a dam was opened and he felt all his emotions pour out of him; they did not leave completely, but they seemed to find a place of balance, and he somehow knew that his Queen was feeling every ache that he felt himself. It hurt to be so vulnerable, but he felt more at ease and not so dragged down.

“Can you tell me where he is, mother?” Kravitz whispered in a trembling voice as he leaned his soul into her. “You can see him, surely. Tell me where to find him.”

“WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR IS A HIGHLY UNCONVENTIONAL USE OF MY POWERS, KRAVITZ.”

“I know, mother, but I don’t know what else to do.” His quiet voice ached with desperation.

“TAAKO IS NOT OF MY REALM, KRAVITZ. HE IS ISTUS’ CONSORT, NOT MINE. MINE IS THE REALM OF THE DYING AND THOSE WHO TOY WITH DEATH. TAAKO IS NEITHER, AT LEAST NOT ANYMORE. NOT YET.”

Kravitz felt a sting of disappointment. He had hoped that his Queen would lay out a path before him, point him in the right direction and send him on his way, but it would not be. Still, he could not ignore the faint gleam of hope that her words had given him. “So...do you think Istus will help us find him?”

“I DO NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT ISTUS WILL OR WILL NOT DO. I ONLY KNOW THAT SHE CARES FOR HIM JUST AS I CARE FOR YOU. I DO NOT DOUBT THAT SHE KNOWS WHERE HE IS.”

Kravitz nodded, chewing on his lip, clinging desperately to that gleam of hope and trying not to dwell on the disappointment. “Might you at least arrange a meeting for me, that I might speak with her?”

“I WILL SPEAK TO ISTUS ON YOUR BEHALF, MY SON. FOR MY SAKE, I DO NOT DOUBT SHE WOULD BE HAPPY TO SPEAK WITH YOU. BE PATIENT - I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU RECEIVE A SUMMONS.”

Kravitz breathed a grateful sigh. “Thank you, thank you…” he whispered, leaning into the feathers surrounding him. Emerging from the lightless dark around him the Raven Queen’s beak glinted and she pressed its cold, smooth weight against his brow. He trembled.

“YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO ME, MY SON. DO NOT EVER DOUBT THAT YOU CAN COME TO ME WITH YOUR TROUBLES. I WILL ALWAYS LISTEN.”

He pressed more earnestly into her touch and believed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say that I love all of you, my readers, and I thrive off of all your love and feedback. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, or whatever day it is when you're reading this, because I love and appreciate you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note that this chapter depicts multiple nightmares which depict death and blood, and Lup has a brief but pretty severe panic attack, but there's also a bunch of fluff and humor in the middle!

_The world around her was unstable, it kept changing. She was on the deck of the Starblaster - no, she was hiding somewhere in the back of a caravan - no, she was on the surface of an unfamiliar planet - no, she was trapped in the Umbrastaff - no -_

_Taako was there - for a moment she thought he was holding her hand, bright and beautiful and lively - but no, his body was on the ground, and he was bloody - no, he was burned - no, he’d been hit by a spell - and his eyes were wide and cold. There was no life in them. There was no air in his lungs. There was no heat in his body. There was no blood in his veins._

_She tried to run to him but her body felt like it was moving in slow motion, as if she were underwater, and he got no closer. Standing above him was Edward, smiling cruelly - no, it was the Hunger, wrapping its tendrils around his body - no -_

_She held her brother’s body in her hands, and he was so, so heavy, his empty eyes stared at the sky and did not see her as she cupped his head in her hands, his ears did not move to hear her as she screamed his name, and he was dead, he was dead, he was -_

Lup awoke screaming. Her entire body was ablaze. Her soul was tearing away from her body. She could not survive without her heart, she could not -

Barry was on her in an instant, his legs straddling hers as if to hold her down, one arm around her shoulders. His right hand cupped the sparking ball of energy that was her soul and with some force pushed it back inside her body and held it there, firmly drawing her body to his. “I’m here, Lup, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe…”

Lup recognized the effects of the Calm Emotion spell and accepted them gladly, the flames enveloping her body abruptly dying. Without moving from her Barry killed the flames that had spread to their bed and he continued to hold her as she grasped desperately at his old t-shirt, and his soft, strong arms continued to hold her as she sobbed, gasping into his chest.

“Just tell me he’s alive, Barry,” she whispered hoarsely through her tears. “Just tell me Taako’s alive, tell me he’s alive…”

“Taako’s alive, Lup,” he whispered steadily into her trembling ears. “He’s alive, and we’re going to find him, no matter what it takes. He’s alive. He’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

***

The public library in the town of Bottlenose Cove was pleasantly large. Not so vast as to let its patrons get easily lost in it, but big enough that its selection of reading material wasn’t lacking. Angus let his fingers brush affectionately against the spines of the Caleb Cleveland series before he walked by to more practical books. He was here for information, not recreational reading. 

He walked with purpose past the rest of the young adult novels and into the adult nonfiction section. He knew the Fantasy Dewey Decimal System well, and it took less than a minute for him to find what he was looking for. There were several dozen books about food allergies, which, that was good. It meant he would have plenty of resources for his research. He skipped over _Food Allergies for Dummies_ and pulled out several more advanced books on the subject, flipping through indexes to make sure they had the information he needed before taking them to the desk to check them out.

Mookie was yelling something from the other side of the library and Angus sighed. He should have reminded the kid of proper library etiquette before they had come in here. He gave the librarian an apologetic smile. “Sorry about my cousin,” he said as the dragonborn woman scanned his books, “I’ll make sure to talk to him about his behavior before we-”

Angus was scooped up off his feet before he could finish. “FOUND YA, ANGO!” a familiar and friendly voice shouted.

“Mr. Magnus! Sir! Put me down! The library isn’t the place for this!”

“Oh shit, sorry,” Magnus said sheepishly as he set Angus back down. He turned to the woman holding Angus’ books. She was eyeing him with mild irritation. “Sorry for the disturbance, ma’am. I got excited about seeing my kid here and forgot my place. Don’t have lots of experience with libraries, yaknow?”

The librarian nodded. “Of course, sir. Here’s your books, young man.” She held out the stack for Angus but Magnus snatched them up before he could take them. He held them above his head with a playful grin. Angus put his hands on his hips and snatched them back with a mage hand.

“Aw, dunk, I forgot you could do that,” Magnus said, looking both impressed and disappointed. 

“I’ve been able to do that for quite a while, sir,” Angus replied, sliding his books into his bag. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Good old Barold called and said you were feeling sick,” Magnus said cheerfully. “I couldn’t have that, so I came out to see how you’re doing.”

“Well, I’m feeling just fine now, sir,” Angus reassured him. “Merle got me fixed up pretty quickly. And I wasn’t sick exactly. I had an allergic reaction. That’s why I’m here now, I’m doing some research on allergies.”

“You don’t need to be a nerd to know not to eat a thing you’re allergic to,” Magnus said. “Even I know that.”

“Angus! Magnus is here!” Mookie shouted, running towards them from between the stacks with a tired looking Mavis behind him.

“Mookie, keep your voice down!” she hissed uselessly.

“Yeah, Mookie, I know,” Angus said. “I’m talking to him right now.”

Mookie jumped on Magnus’ back, laughing as he did so. “We’re gonna go back to the beach and jump out from behind some rocks to scare my dad!”

“Mookie, _please,”_ Mavis sighed.

“You bet we are, little buddy!” Magnus responded, a giant grin on his face. Angus grinned back and shook his head.

“Well, thanks for coming to see me, Mr. Magnus,” he said, chuckling a little. “It’s nice to know you wanted to make sure I was okay. I’m sorry if it feels like a wasted trip now.”

“A wasted trip? Not a chance,” Magnus said, adjusting Mookie’s positioning on his back and roughly tousling Angus’ hair. “We’re gonna have a fun beach vacation anyway.”

“GIDDYUP, MAGNUS!” Mookie yelled, smacking the man’s giant shoulders. “LET’S GO!”

“YEEHAW!” Magnus shouted back, galloping out of the library as an already exhausted Mavis and a bemused Angus followed.

***

_The ground is flying by the train at blinding speeds, and they need to get off right now._

_Everybody off! Everybody jump!_

_Angus hasn’t moved. He needs to get off the train, it’s not a choice. He lifts Angus up - he’s so small, he’s so light - and throws him._

_You’re fine!_

_And he rolls. He rolls so far. His blood spreads on the stones on the ground as he shrinks away, and he doesn’t sit up, he doesn’t give a thumbs up to indicate he’s okay, he doesn’t grin to show his missing teeth. He lies there, shrinking away as the train barrels on, and he doesn’t sit up. He isn’t fine._

_Taako threw him, and he wasn’t fine._

Waking up doesn’t offer any respite from his nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got great news for those of you who commented on the last chapter about imagining Angus and Mavis getting along great, because boy howdy are you right. Let's finally get the _real_ investigation underway, shall we?

The thing about Angus is that he’s not stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact. He’s the world’s greatest detective! So he knew something was up. That much was quite obvious. The problem was, he wasn’t entirely clear just what.

The grownups wouldn’t talk to him about it. They kept their lips sealed tight. Spring break plans had changed, they told him, he would be spending his break here at Merle’s beach estate instead of at Taako and Kravitz’ home. Taako had been called away on business, they told him, it’s complicated opening a new school after all. Kravitz was just especially busy with work, that was all, though he did make a point to stop by at least briefly every day. But there were lines of worry around his eyes that he tried to hide when he visited Merle’s house. And Aunt Lup and Uncle Barry, they had stopped by the house when they first heard he was sick, but they hadn’t stayed very long, assuring him they were glad he was feeling better and disappearing just as quickly as they had come. It was nice having Magnus around, but Angus could tell he was anxious to be somewhere else, doing something else. He was glad to play with the kids, of course, in fact he probably got too into it sometimes, but Angus sensed Magnus had been put on babysitting duty, and though they didn’t discuss it, they both resented it.

The grownups were treating him like a kid. 

First, Angus tried asking Kravitz when Taako was going to join them. A family beach vacation wasn’t really complete without Taako riding the waves, after all. Last time they’d all come, Taako had tried to teach Angus how to surf, though he hadn’t been very good at it. If they were going to spend spring break here, he’d like it if their lessons could continue. But Kravitz brushed off the question, more than a little obviously nervous about it, simply saying that Taako was busy, and hopefully he’d join them soon, and ending the conversation after that.

Something wasn’t right. Taako wouldn’t just not come visit. Angus knew about Glamour Springs, of course, and he knew that his allergic reaction to Taako’s food had probably made him jumpy, but - he wouldn’t just not come. He wouldn’t not at least check in. Something was wrong. 

He tried to confide his concerns in Mavis. Mavis was smart and practical, and glad to be helpful, and Angus liked having someone his age to hang out with - most of his classmates were several years older than he was, so he didn’t have many friends his own age. But she didn’t know anything Angus didn’t know himself already. She hadn’t overheard any suspicious conversations or noticed any other clues that might have been helpful, though she did offer to keep her eyes and ears open. Mookie, of course, was too busy wrestling with Magnus on the beach to be of much assistance either. Even if Magnus hadn’t been visiting, Angus suspected he still wouldn’t be much help anyway. 

Angus tried to call Taako’s stone of farspeech, but he never answered. That was weird, too. Even when he was traveling for business, Taako never refused to answer Angus’ calls. As much as Taako liked to try to keep his affection for Angus under wraps, Angus wasn’t stupid. Angus knew how much he cared because Taako was always glad to drop any business to talk to Angus. 

Something was very wrong.

One afternoon several days after they’d arrived at Merle’s house, Kravitz stopped by for one of his brief visits between reapings. Magnus was busy beating Angus, Mavis, and Mookie in a game of fantasy beach volleyball, and it was obvious his competitive nature was getting the best of him, because he was beating them quite badly. Angus didn’t mind really - Magnus’ enthusiasm and excitement was really quite an amusing distraction from this confusing mystery, and his joy was contagious. Angus found himself laughing a lot despite himself.

Magnus was loudly cheering for himself after scoring yet another point against his opponents when Angus spotted Kravitz walking down the beach with Merle. He was dressed light for an afternoon in the hot sun - only a button down charcoal grey shirt with the sleeves rolled up, rather than his usual three piece suit and cloak ensemble. Kravitz could dematerialize his feathered cloak in the same way he could do so with his scythe, but usually he chose not to, opting instead to copy the habits of his mortal family and hang his cloak on a hook in the front hall of whoever’s house he was in. Angus knew this. Angus also knew, just based on the last few days, that Kravitz would probably not stay longer than half an hour before he went back to work.

Angus ditched the fantasy beach volleyball game, hollering some excuse about needing a drink over his shoulder as he ran off. The most direct path up to the house took him right past where Merle and Kravitz had stopped to sit in the sand - Merle sprawled out shirtless and soaking up the sun while Kravitz was carefully seated on a towel under an umbrella nearby. Angus darted right past them, waving as he went. 

“Good to see you, sir!”

“Good to see you too...Angus…” Kravitz tried to reply, but Angus was already gone.

He was careful to brush the sand off his body outside before going back in, not only because it was a mess to try to clean, but because he didn’t want to leave a trail. Instinctually he tiptoed through the house, even though there was no one else inside to hear him, and he made his way to the front entry hall.

As he had suspected, Kravitz had left his cloak hanging there by the door. Angus glanced over his shoulder quickly to confirm that he was, in fact, alone here in the front hall of Merle’s manor house, then plunged his hands into the feathery depths of Kravitz’ cloak. It was cool and surprisingly heavy, and deep amongst its folds he found a pocket which held something smooth and heavy. A knot began to grow in Angus’ stomach as he drew it out, recognizing the object in his hand immediately.

It was Taako’s stone of farspeech. There could be no mistaking it. Taako had bedazzled the back side of the otherwise plain stone. The gaudy plastic rhinestones glinted in the dim light of the entryway.

With trembling fingers Angus used his stone to call Taako’s, as if he needed to hear it ring to believe it, as if the awful rhinestones and glitter weren’t proof enough. But it did ring, and he must have been holding onto a foolish hope that he was wrong, because the sound and vibration startled him, causing him to drop Taako’s stone. It picked up his call as it slipped from his fingers, and the proximity of the two stones caused them both to screech with feedback as the sparkling stone hit the floor. Angus fumbled with shaking hands for several seconds to end the call. Only when he finally succeeded and the awful shrieking stopped did he realize how loudly his heart was pounding in his ears.

He picked Taako’s stone back up from the floor, his eyes stinging painfully. If Kravitz had Taako’s stone of farspeech, then something was very wrong indeed, and Angus was beginning to think he knew what it was.

“Angus, what are you doing?”

Angus jumped, nearly dropping Taako’s stone a second time, and turned to see Mavis standing nearby. She looked both concerned and suspicious, and Angus knew he must not look very trustworthy right now. “Mavis, I…” He tried to answer but found he couldn’t, so he turned and shoved the bedazzled stone back into Kravitz’ pocket. Mavis stepped closer until she was right beside him.

“I won’t snitch,” she promised. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Angus nodded. “I...I will. Why did you follow me, Mavis?”

“You said you needed a drink, and I thought we should all have drinks after being outside all afternoon,” she explained. “Why does that matter?”

“Let’s talk in the kitchen,” Angus said quickly, grabbing her hand and hurrying through the house. “That way if anyone else comes in we will be where they expect us to be.”

Mavis followed hurriedly, closing the kitchen door behind them when they arrived. “Okay,” she said, leaning with her back to the door, “we’re here, and we’re alone. What were you doing, Angus? Did you find a clue?”

“I...I guess I did,” he told her slowly. He didn’t quite trust his voice not to crack. “Something’s wrong, Mavis. I found out why Taako hasn’t answered my calls. He doesn’t have his stone of farspeech. Kravitz does. Now why would he have Taako’s stone, Mavis?”

She shook her head. “I don’t really know. Maybe they took each other’s stones by accident?”

“I don’t think so,” Angus said, and his voice finally hitched in his throat and he sat down at one of the stools by the counter. He dropped his head into his hands. “Mavis, I...I haven’t seen or spoken to Mr. Taako since...since I got sick when he cooked me dinner and...Mavis, what if he...he thought it was his fault, he must have, and…” His voice was abruptly stopped by a sob that fought its way out of his throat and he was outright crying now. Mavis moved to him quickly, pulling him into a hug, letting him cry there a bit before pulling away again.

“Angus, we can’t make any conclusions until we have the facts, right? I mean, you’re the detective here, but I think there’s still more we don’t know.” Angus nodded wordlessly in response, rubbing his eyes dry and removing his steamed up glasses. “Then we need more facts. Help me get some drinks outside for everyone, and we can ask Kravitz to his face where Taako is. Maybe we can even try casting Zone of Truth on him? My dad always has good luck with that one.”

Angus nodded, taking a shaky breath to center himself. “Yeah, I...I know that one, too.” He hesitated a little. “What if he tries to resist it, though? Mr. Kravitz is powerful, he works for the Raven Queen herself, he’s ancient, he’s the literal Grim Reaper, he’s-”

“Angus, stop it,” Mavis said, cutting off his anxious babbling. She put her hands on his knees and leaned close. “Yeah, he’s powerful, he’s ancient, you’re a kid, whatever. So what? You’re one of the smartest kids, nah, the smartest kid in this universe, probably. You’ve trained under the most powerful wizard in every known planar system, and you’re going to the school of this world’s most brilliant scientist. And you were brilliant yourself even before any of that. Yeah, Kravitz is powerful, but so are you. You got this.”

Angus stared at her, wide eyed. “You really think so?” he asked, his voice wobbling.

“I know it,” Mavis said firmly. She stepped back and walked to the cupboards. She began pulling out a few glasses and set them on a tray as she continued talking. “Help me get those drinks we said we were coming for, and when we get outside we can confront him then. I’ll be right there with you.”

Angus joined her, fetching the pitcher of lemonade that Mavis directed him to in the refrigerator. She added a few finger sandwiches and in just a few minutes they had a nice looking refreshment tray ready to bring with them outside, and Angus was feeling a bit more calm. They walked together towards the back door of the manor with Mavis holding the tray, and Angus stepped forward to hold the door for her.

It flew open before he could get to it and he let out a yelp of surprise as he was nearly run over by Kravitz. 

“Oh! Angus, I’m sorry,” Kravitz apologized as he brushed past the two startled teenagers. He reached for his feathered cloak and Angus began to silently panic. “I’m sorry I have to run off so suddenly like this. I’ve gotten a call from the Raven Queen about an urgent reaping job I need to take care of immediately.”

“Mr. Kravitz, wait-” Angus reached for his wand, but - oh no. He’d taken his lanyard off when they were playing volleyball outside. He shot a panicked look at Mavis - _What do I do?_ \- and she shrugged, wide eyed.

“I know, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer,” Kravitz apologized again as he shrugged his cloak on. “It’s been a very busy time. Hopefully things will clear up soon.” He ruffled Angus’ hair affectionately as he summoned his scythe.

“But sir…” But what? He couldn’t do anything, not now. He watched helplessly as Kravitz tore open a portal in the hall. 

“I’ll see you later, Angus.”

With that he disappeared, leaving Angus and Mavis alone in the house together feeling wholly dejected.

***

“Angus, come here,” Mavis said to him later that night. She didn’t wait for him to agree, but instead took his hand and led the confused teen detective into her father’s living room. Merle and Magnus were sitting on the couch looking just as surprised and confused as he felt.

“So, what is this exactly?” Magnus asked her.

“Family meeting,” Mavis said matter-of-factly, sitting down across from the adults and crossing her arms. “Go ahead, Angus.”

Angus continued to stand for a moment, looking back and forth from his uncles to Mavis. She gave him a pointed look and glanced at the couch cushion beside her and back up at him. “Oh, right,” he said, finally understanding what she was doing, and he took a seat where she had indicated. He fiddled with his hands a moment as Merle and Magnus eyed him expectantly, and finally he took a deep breath and began.

“Sirs, I - I know something’s not right, something that you’re not telling me and - I think you know what I’m talking about but...I need someone to tell me.”

Merle sighed and looked down at his hands. “Look, kiddo...you’re right. You should know what’s going on. And we shoulda probably told you a long time ago but...look, Kravitz is the one who wanted to keep this quiet. And I agreed to do that.”

“And I think that’s stupid!” Magnus said loudly, turning to direct his booming voice at Merle. “I’ve said that from the beginning, I said ‘I think this is stupid!’ But everyone else out-voted me!”

“Slow down there, Magnus!” Merle cautioned.

“No! You wanna know why? Because no one is making any progress on this! We _need_ Angus! We’ve got a real, actual mystery on our hands, and we’re not gonna tell _Angus?_ The _world’s greatest detective?_ The kid’s smart! He’s gonna figure it out whether we tell him or not!”

“I’m gonna cast Zone of _Shut the Hell Up_ on you, Maggie!”

_“Make_ me, old man!”

“Magnus, tell me what’s going on!” Angus interrupted desperately.

_“No,”_ Merle said quickly, cutting off the response Magnus was clearly ready to give. “We all agreed to let Kravitz make the decision on that one, and _I’m_ gonna stick to my word!”

“You’re siding with Kravitz on this?” Magnus scoffed. “He took your arm!”

“And you chopped it off!”

_“I saved your life!”_

“Sirs!” Angus cried. _“Please._ If Mr. Kravitz is trying to keep whatever’s going on a secret, then help me change his mind. I want to help, but I can’t without all the facts.”

“Look, Angus, I’m sorry, but-”

“Really, dad?” Mavis snapped, cutting him off. “This is what we’re gonna do, huh? Something’s going on. Angus knows it, and he wants to help you. You’re really going to just shut him out?” Merle shrugged helplessly. She stood up with a huff and stomped back to the door. She paused there just long enough to glance back over her shoulder at her father. “I can’t believe you,” she grumbled, then left the room, slamming the door behind her. 

Merle sighed. “Well, shit,” he muttered to himself.

Magnus turned back to Angus. “Okay, I guess we’re sticking to our word or something,” he said with a pointed side-eye at Merle, “but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with it. And I still want to help if I can. So what do you need us to do?”

“I need to talk to Kravitz,” Angus said earnestly. “I need to get him to tell me the truth about what’s going on.”

Merle looked up, a twinkle suddenly returning to his eye. “Kid, are you planning what I think you are?”

“I am,” Angus replied resolutely. Merle laughed out loud, slapping his knee as he did so.

“Pan help me, I couldn’t be more proud!” He brushed a tear from his eye as he continued to laugh.

“You’re not worried about that being a bit...manipulative?” Magnus asked.

“Sir, I’m a detective,” Angus said firmly, his eyes locked with Magnus’. “The world’s greatest one, in fact. And I’ll figure out what’s going on with or without your help, but...well, it’ll be a lot easier if you do help me.”

Merle chuckled. “I guess you did detective good enough to see through our horseshit again, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Angus replied, his expression softening some. 

“Alright, I’m in,” Merle agreed at last, and Magnus leaned over to high five Angus.

“Angus on the case! Finally!” he shouted as their hands met, and Angus couldn’t help but grin along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, Magnus' last line there is basically my entire feeling about this chapter.
> 
> Thanks as always to everyone for reading! And especially to those of you who take the time to comment. I treasure every word. You're all the best. <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting this up a bit later in the day than usual, sorry about that! I got carried away prepping for the D&D game I DM for and it slipped my mind. Whoops! Please enjoy our good boy Kravitz, even though he's late.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> OH! And this chapter marks the halfway point for this story! How exciting!

Kravitz was busy filling out paperwork at his desk in the Astral Plane when the summons from Istus came, if in fact a summons it could be called. First the walls of his office vanished, as did the floor and the ceiling, leaving him in his chair at his desk in an empty white space. He stood up abruptly, alarmed and startled, blinking a few times to adjust his eyes to the sudden light. He looked behind him first, but there was nothing there. When he turned back his desk had vanished too, and upon a second look his chair behind him was also gone. He turned around a few times, quickly feeling entirely disoriented as there was nothing to tell him which direction he was facing. He did seem to feel some kind of ground beneath his feet, though it looked no different than anything else he could or couldn’t see. There was nothing here, nothing and no one, and he didn’t know where he was or how he’d gotten here or- 

Just as panic was beginning to set in, she was there. He’d been certain he had turned completely at least three or four times and hadn’t seen her before, but she was there all the same. She was seated, though he could see nothing for her to be seated on; her hair floated around her as if she was underwater, and her hands were busy knitting the tapestry that rested in her lap. She did not look up at him but instead kept her eyes firmly on her work, and Kravitz noticed that the threads seemed to be a mess.

“Take a seat, Kravitz,” she said, her needles clicking together rapidly. Kravitz looked around and still saw nothing to sit on, but he slowly lowered himself and found that there was indeed a solid surface waiting beneath him. He sat, apprehensively at first, but gradually settled into his invisible seat. 

“A friend of mine mentioned you might want to see me,” she said coyly, glancing briefly up at Kravitz. There was a flame in her eyes, an energy that Kravitz both feared and trusted.

“Lady Istus, surely you know why,” Kravitz said earnestly, leaning forward in his unseen seat. “Where is Taako?”

“It is not my place to meddle, Kravitz. I guide the threads of fate, but I am not one of those threads myself,” she said firmly. 

_“Please,”_ Kravitz pressed, his voice catching on the lump forming in his throat. “You care about him, surely. And you know I do too. He needs help, Lady Istus. Tell me where I can find him.”

Istus remained silent, continuing to work with her needles as she considered his request. Kravitz’s was beginning to think she might not answer him at all when she finally spoke. 

“I can tell you this.” _Click, tap, click, tap._ “I have seen him. He is lonely and afraid.” Kravitz felt his eyes begin to sting. _Click, tap, click, tap._ “That is what he fears most, I think - isolation. And yet he retreats into it. Self imposed isolation is safer than when it is forced upon you.” Kravitz’s heart thudded in time with her needles, _click, tap, thud. He’s alone, he’s afraid, oh Taako…_ “If you seek to break through his isolation, you must do so with its opposite - connection. Everyone must be involved, Kravitz. _Everyone.”_ Istus locked her eyes with Kravitz’ for the first time as she spoke, an intensity in her gaze that seemed to ask him, _Are you watching closely?_ Her slender fingers gripped the end of the fancy blue thread with which she worked, and still not looking away from Kravitz, she gave the thread a sharp yank, a motion that felt surprisingly threatening. As she did, all the loose ends of her tapestry suddenly fell into place, all wrapped around that single fancy blue thread.

Of course. The answer seemed so simple, and yet it was Kravitz himself who had pushed against it. This whole ordeal had been unnecessarily lengthened by the choices _he_ had made, and the sudden realization of that guilt turned him numb.

“I did this. It’s my fault this has gone on as long as it has,” he whispered, unsure if he were making that confession to Istus or to himself.

Istus’ gaze softened as he said that. “Nothing you have done has not already been touched by the hands of fate. I may not control what happens, but do not doubt that I shape it.”

Kravitz wanted to ask why she hadn’t shaped things differently, why she hadn’t spoken to them before now, why things had been allowed to happen in the way they had. But he didn’t. Somehow he knew he wouldn’t get an answer to those questions, or at least that he wouldn’t be satisfied by any answer she might give. Instead, so quickly he almost didn’t realize he was speaking before the words came out, he asked her this:

“Is he safe? Tell me that at least. Tell me if Taako is safe.”

Istus contemplated her answer for a long time, far too long for Kravitz to be comfortable with. It seemed like such a simple question - that she had to consider her answer for so long seemed to not be a good sign.

“His body remains unharmed, and there is no immediate threat to his life,” the goddess finally replied slowly, “though his heart is indeed damaged. But I suppose you already guessed that.”

Kravitz sagged. While he was relieved to hear that Taako was not in danger, he was pained by Istus’ words. Not that he was surprised - he knew that Taako was hurting right now, of course he was - but to hear it confirmed by she who had seen him, it made him feel sick to his stomach. But no, it wasn’t just that - it was his heart. Its pulse was unnaturally slow, and as he considered its low and laborious thump in his chest, he observed disinterestedly that if he was alive he might be told he was having a heart attack. 

Istus did not allow him to wallow in his discomfort. Suddenly she was mere inches from him, lifting his chin with her knitting needle so that their eyes were forced to meet. “Up, Kravitz,” she said, her voice low and firm. “You have work to do.”

And with those words she vanished. The white space they had occupied together had disappeared, and Kravitz’ office was back in its place. He had to blink a few times to readjust his eyes to the darkness of the Astral Plane before it was all clear again. He forced himself to breathe deeply, willing his struggling heart to continue beating even if it must be slow. He looked across the paperwork at his desk. Istus was right, he had work to do - and it was not this. 

Less than a minute later he was leaving his office, his feathered cloak around his shoulders, and a note on his desk which read:

_Mother -_  
_Taking the day off._  
_-K._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dangit, I _do_ enjoy writing the goddesses. _finger guns_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! I'm posting this chapter a bit early because I'm going to be out of town this weekend so I won't have access to my computer on Saturday. So you guys get a surprise treat from me! 
> 
> Also, I've got another thing coming for you guys later this week. I'll be posting a short kinda fluffy thing on Wednesday for Taakitz week, which is unrelated to this fic, but it'll be a brief interlude of our good boys together. So come check that out on Wednesday!
> 
> No warnings I can think of for this chapter, so enjoy!

Kravitz had briefly called Barry on his way back - “Come to Merle’s,” he’d said, “and bring all your notes.” As he stepped into Merle’s living room, he was almost immediately accosted by Angus. The boy had a wild look in his eyes like he hadn’t slept, and he was brandishing his wand in the reaper’s face, his other hand clutching a worn notebook. 

“Mr. Kravitz,” he said with a surprising ferocity, “I think it’s time we talked.” Merle was behind him, holding his Extreme Teen Bible and looking a bit sheepish, and Magnus stepped to his side with a glare.

“I haven’t told him anything yet, Kravitz,” Merle said, “but he’s starting to catch on, and-”

“Mr. Kravitz, tell me what’s going on!” Angus shouted. The tip of his wand crackled with magic. The expression on his face was a mixture of anger and hurt, and it had a ferocity in it that surprised Kravitz. It was actually a bit intimidating. 

“Talk to the kid, Death Man,” Magnus said, his hands balling into fists. “It’s time we came clean on this.”

“Sir, please, I can handle this-”

“Now wait, hold on just a moment,” Kravitz interrupted. He raised his hands in submission as he finally was able to speak. “I agree, actually, we need to talk, but I don’t think we need magic to do it.”

“Maybe not, but I want it, sir,” Angus said harshly.

“You...really don’t trust me, do you?” Kravitz said quietly.

Angus’ fury seemed to boil over and he spat his words from his mouth. “Tell me the truth, _now!”_

A spell fired brightly from Angus’ little wand, slamming Kravitz in the chest as it spread out rapidly. He recognized the effects of Zone of Truth immediately and he didn’t try to resist it - in fact, a quiet part of his mind marveled that he may not have been able to resist it at all, for there was an overwhelming power behind it. It made him stagger back a step, and even Merle and Magnus stepped back in awe. As Kravitz met Angus’ fierce gaze he could plainly see the pain and fear and distrust welling up in them. Angus had cast Zone of Truth, which meant that he didn’t trust him, and that knowledge broke Kravitz. Angus was right not to trust him, of course. He’d proven himself completely unworthy of his trust over the last week. Still, he’d hoped he’d find some, just a little. But there was none. 

“Alright, Angus,” he sighed. “You’re right. You deserve to hear the truth. Can we - can we sit down as we sort this out?”

“No.” Angus’ answer was firm and curt. “We do this now, right here.”

“Angus, I-” Kravitz rubbed his face as he struggled to find the words. Zone of Truth or not, telling it would take some tact. “Angus, I need to ask for your help. I wanted to keep this from you, and that was a mistake, and I am so sorry for that, but...we can’t do it without you.”

“I know that,” Angus snapped, then blinked in surprise at his own reply. “That sounded a little cocky, didn’t it? I’m not trying to brag, but...tell me what it is, Mr. Kravitz.”

“Taako’s missing,” Kravitz answered, startled at the abruptness of the statement, but he hurried on. So much for tact. “I haven’t seen him in days. It seems no one has. But Angus, it’s worse than that, he - _oh, it’s my fault_ \- when I brought you here, I was in too much of a hurry, and I didn’t tell him where I was going. You were unconscious, and you weren’t breathing, and I - I took you away from him. I think he believes you died, Angus, and he thinks it’s his fault. And he ran away. We’ve been trying to find him, to tell him you’re alright, but we - we can’t-” Suddenly Kravitz’ voice failed him and he broke off with a sob. Angus slowly lowered his wand, his eyes wide.

“Mr. Taako...thinks...he thinks I’m dead?” he whispered, his voice wavering.

“Angus, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” Kravitz insisted. “All of this is my fault, if only I’d… You don’t need to forgive me, I don’t deserve that. But...well, when I tell you I’m sorry, you can know I mean it.”

Angus turned back to Merle and Magnus, his eyes wide and wet. “Is that true? About Taako?”

“Your spell worked, kid,” Merle said quietly. “You know that it is.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, buddy,” Magnus told him, placing a large hand on his shoulder.

Angus gripped his wand tighter and gritted his teeth as he turned back to Kravitz. “We’ll find him, sir,” he said resolutely, visibly swallowing his tears. “Just tell me what you know so far.”

***

“Oh, so we’re doing _this_ now?” Lup said. _“Now_ we decide to fill Angus in?” She and Barry had arrived only moments after Angus’ Zone of Truth spell had worn off, their arms filled with notes and maps.

“I made him,” Angus said with a little pride. Kravitz looked like he was going to correct him, but changed his mind.

“It was _awesome,”_ Magnus interjected, looking proud of him himself.

“About _time,”_ Lup sighed, collapsing on Merle’s couch, letting the papers she carried spill around her. “Bar? Wanna tell the kid what you’ve got so far?”

“Well, it isn’t much,” Barry admitted, rolling out one of his maps. “I can tell you a lot of places Taako is not. Or, at least places he hasn’t been seen. And I can give you a long list of people he hasn’t spoken to.” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, looking up at Angus with a weary smile. “What do you say, kid? You wanna take over this investigation?”

Angus leaned over the map Barry had splayed out in front of him. Merle and Magnus crowded in as well, but Kravitz quietly sat down in the corner, alone. Angus was too preoccupied with his new investigation to notice.

The map was covered with markings, lots of X’s and slashes and circles on various cities and towns throughout Faerun. “What do these symbols mean?” Angus asked, running his fingers along the map. Barry sat down and began to explain.

“The circles mark places we think Taako might have gone,” Barry said, “any city or town he’s visited before. There’s...well, there’s a lot of them. He traveled a lot in his Sizzle it Up days, and even farther with the ol’ B.o.B. Slashes indicate places where other people live who we’ve spoken to. No one I’ve talked to yet has seen him, so no sightings in any of those locations.” Barry handed Angus his list of contacts as he spoke, each name with at least two check marks in front of them. “And if we’ve been there ourselves, it’s got an X,” he continued, looking back at the map. “Lup and I, we’ve been traveling everywhere the last few days. We’ve covered at least six towns a day between the two of us, sometimes more.”

Lup waved from where she lay on the couch. “Yeah, and it’s been _exhausting._ Two, three hours at the most in one town, then right onto the next. Not even a chance to enjoy the tourist attractions. It’s the worst kind of traveling. Not to mention useless. We’ve got nothing.” She rubbed her tired eyes. She didn’t look like she had been sleeping much. “Oh yeah, and Kravitz. He’s been reporting back from his work outings. Some of those X’s are from him, too.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be more helpful,” Kravitz said quietly from where he sat on the far side of the room.

“You’ve been very helpful,” Barry assured him. “We wouldn’t have gotten this far without your help, Kravitz.”

“We’d be farther if I hadn’t been so stubborn,” he murmured.

“It seems like you’ve been very thorough,” Angus said, ignoring Kravitz’ comment and sorting through Barry’s papers. 

“Well, plenty of experience, I’m afraid,” Barry sighed.

“My bad,” Lup called from the couch. 

Suddenly the door burst open and in a blur of motion Mookie ran in and leaped on top of Lup with a shout.

_“Oof,_ kid! You gotta cut that out!” she cried, trying not to grin. “I know you’re small, but you’re heavier than you think you are, you know.”

“But Aunt Lup, I just think your new body’s _neat.”_

Lup chuckled. “Me too, buddy.”

“Uncle Barry grew it in a jar, right? Can you do the skull thing?”

Mavis was standing in the doorway, observing the scene. “Mookie, _stop it,”_ she said firmly. She turned to Angus, her face bright and hopeful. “Did you do it?”

Angus grinned, fully allowing himself to feel pride this time. “Sure did.”

_“Yes!_ I knew you could!” Mavis cried, hurrying over to high five him. “So what’s the mystery? What’s with all the maps?”

Angus filled her in quickly with a few interjections from Barry while Merle waddled over to the couch to peel Mookie off of Lup. Mavis listened intently, studying the maps and lists as they spoke.

“So what’s the first step in this investigation, Boy Detective?” she asked. “Are you gonna look for clues at the...well, I suppose ‘scene of the crime’ isn’t really the right phrase, is it?”

“That’s what I was gonna suggest, actually,” Angus confirmed with a grin. “You might make a decent detective yourself, with some practice. So, Uncle Barry, has anyone else searched the house yet?”

“I - well, no, I haven’t anyway,” Barry answered, looking genuinely surprised to admit he hadn’t. “Kravitz?”

“I’ve barely been back,” Kravitz answered, rubbing his hands together anxiously. “He left his stone of farspeech behind, but...I didn’t really search, no.”

“I already knew about that,” Angus said, pulling out his notebook and beginning to take notes. Kravitz started a bit. “What?” Angus glanced up at him over his glasses. “Did you really think my investigation just started today?”

“Nothing was missing from the kitchen, either,” Lup interjected, sitting up straight now that she was free of Mookie. “I didn’t search anywhere else, though.”

“So that’s where we go,” Magnus said quickly, then looked to Angus for approval. “Right, Ango?”

“Right,” Angus confirmed, pushing his sliding glasses back up his nose. “We’ll start from the beginning, see what we can find. Maybe he did leave a clue that can help us narrow down our search.”

“I’ll have to stay here,” Mavis said. Her voice was quiet and resolute.

“What? Why?” Angus asked, suddenly distressed. “You’ve been my partner from the start. Don’t you want to help?”

“Of course I do,” she said, but she motioned to Merle struggling to keep Mookie pinned on the couch. Mookie was desperately trying to snatch one of the maps, yammering about wanting to see how it tastes. “Mookie can’t come,” Mavis went on. “He’ll only get in the way. And we sure can’t leave him here in the house by himself. Besides, Taako is your family, not mine. That firework, on the other hand...well, _he_ is.”

Angus placed his hand on hers. “If you’re sure,” he said.

“I’m sure,” she said firmly. She turned back to Angus and gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. You’re gonna do great.”

Barry began to pack up the maps and notes with help from Magnus as Mavis retrieved her brother from Merle and herded him out of the room. Kravitz stood from his seat in the corner and adjusted his cloak - he hadn’t even gotten a chance to take it off this time - and solemnly summoned his scythe. He quietly swung its large, curved blade and once again a dark and swirling portal appeared in the middle of the room.

“Alright, follow me,” he said to rest of the others, then quickly turned and disappeared through the hole he had made. One by one the others followed, but Angus hung back.

“Aunt Lup…” Angus asked, approaching her quietly when they were the only two left, “why didn’t Mr. Kravitz want to tell me about Mr. Taako running away? Doesn’t he trust me?”

Lup’s face fell. “What? Angus, of course not.” She placed her hands on both of his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “Listen, to be honest, I disagreed with the decision from the start, but he didn’t...he didn’t want you to be worried about us adults and our problems. He wanted to give you a chance to be a carefree kid for once. And since he’s your dad, the rest of us agreed-”

“He’s my what?” Angus interrupted, startled.

“Oh my _gods,_ is _everyone_ in your family in denial about this?” Lup almost shouted. “Of course he’s - because Taako - I mean, you call me _aunt_ for Queen’s sake - nevermind. The point is, he cares about you. That’s all. He didn’t want you to worry, and thought he could protect you if you didn’t know.”

Angus flushed a bit, both taken aback and pleased at her words. Of course he knew that Taako and Kravitz loved him - he was, after all, not stupid - but hearing in no uncertain terms that Aunt Lup considered them to be his parents...it was both a surprising and welcome revelation.

“That’s...oh. Well, that’s nice to know, I guess,” he replied, glancing down and hoping she didn’t notice him blushing. She absolutely did.

“Come on, kid,” she said, ruffling his hair. “You’ve got an investigation to do, don’t you?”

With that, she took his hand and they stepped through the portal together.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm. I'm posting this at like 11pm on Friday. That's basically Saturday, right? Whatever, have this chapter a little earlier than usual because I'm excited. 
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, just checkin things out, solvin crimes, and crackin clues!
> 
> Damn now I'm just thinking about how much I love Angus. Spoiler alert, it's a lot.

A reaper’s portal is not designed for use by the living. To step from one side to the other was instantaneous, at least in terms of normal measurements of time, no different than walking through any ordinary doorway. Crucially, though, it was less of a doorway and more of a tunnel, and that tunnel passed directly through the Astral Plane, and the Astral Plane is not made for the living.

For Kravitz, Lup, and Barry, stepping through the portal was an everyday occurrence. In fact, most days it was an hourly normality. They felt nothing out of the ordinary. But for the others, passing so very close to those they had loved and lost was not a moment that passed by quietly.

Even when he was robbed of his body by Edward in Wonderland, Magnus had never actually crossed into the Astral Plane. As he did now, he felt the string around his heart immediately. He could smell lavender and sawdust and the back of his tongue filled with the metallic taste of blood. The string around his heart yanked at him so hard it nearly knocked him off his feet and truthfully, he desperately wanted to follow its pull. He almost didn’t complete the step it took to make it all the way through.

Merle suddenly felt the familiar weight of a chess piece in his hand, though when he looked it was empty. A breeze of saltwater air chilled his skin, and normally that might remind him of home, but no...no, this was a different, very specific seabreeze, coming from an ocean bathed in a sunset that he could never be sure had existed in a real, tangible place. It was nice, for a moment - but then there was a burning pain in his flesh and the glow of a black fire and he almost believed he was dying again.

Angus couldn’t quite understand what the voices were saying, but he recognized both of them immediately, though it had been years since he’d heard them. They oscillated from angry to sickeningly sweet, and he suddenly felt like a child again, left on a train platform and feeling lonely with only a book and a set of silverware.

And then they were in Taako and Kravitz’s living room. It was dark for a moment, lit only dimly by the dying daylight trickling through the windows, before Kravitz strode over to the fantasy lightswitch and the house was bright. The entire trip had lasted less than a second.

“Alright, Angus,” Kravitz said, “I don’t know what you need or what you’re looking for, but you know the layout of the house and - oh gods, are you alright?”

Magnus, Merle, and Angus all looked like they’d just been punched in the gut, and they felt a little like it, too. They struggled to catch their breath for a moment or two and Magnus scrubbed tears from his face as the three reapers watched with surprise and concern.

“Shit,” Barry said quietly, “I’m sorry guys. That must have been rough. We didn’t really think that through.”

“No need to apologize, you’re talking to the king of not thinking things through!” Magnus assured him with a laugh, though his voice was a little rough as he said it.

“Do you guys need to take a little break, or…?” Lup asked carefully, though her anxiousness to act quickly still came through.

“I won’t protest a nap!” Merle exclaimed, but the other two shook their heads.

“Not a chance!” Angus insisted with more energy than he felt. He took a deep breath, pushed his glasses back into place, and flipped to an empty page in his notebook. “We’ve got work to do. Keep an eye open for anything that might be missing or out of place. Even the smallest thing might offer us a clue!”

The group split up around the house, each heading in a different direction. Barry sifted through the paperwork on Taako’s desk, mostly a disorganized mess of legal documents and curriculum outlines for the upcoming opening of his school, but nothing he saw to indicate where Taako might have run off to. Merle poked around Taako’s herb garden in the backyard, quietly flirting with the overgrown basil as Magnus gagged loudly at him. In the kitchen Lup dug through the spice cupboard until she found what she was looking for shoved in the back - that must mean Taako hadn’t even come back to the kitchen before running off, surely he would have taken this along if he had - but it was in the back corner of the cupboard, meaning he hadn’t touched it in a while. She set the No-Sodium Salt Shaker on the counter for easy access - Taako would probably need to start using it again if they could persuade him to cook again after this.

Angus went to the bathroom first. It was where they’d last seen Taako, so it seemed like the logical place to start. He rummaged through the cluttered drawers filled with cosmetics and hair products but spotted nothing out of place. He sighed and took out his notebook. _Nothing missing from bathroom,_ he wrote quickly. He caught his own reflection in the mirror as he did so and involuntarily his body stiffened up. What had it been now, a week? It felt so much longer than that. He had only been vaguely aware of Taako finding him here before he’d lost consciousness, but he could remember the look of panic on Taako’s face. He should have told them what he’d been feeling during dinner instead of slinking off and trying to handle it himself. Maybe this whole mess could have been avoided if he’d spoken up instead of trying to ignore it or hide it. Maybe Taako would still be here…

“You doing alright in here, Angus?”

Angus jumped, dropping his notebook to the tiled floor. Kravitz was standing in the doorway, looking tired and worried. Angus nodded in reply and quickly picked his notebook back up.

“You must have cleaned the bathroom,” he observed.

“I did,” Kravitz confirmed. “I hope that doesn’t mess up your investigation. Frankly, Angus, it was starting to smell really awful in here.”

“I’m glad you did, I don’t want to imagine what it would’ve been like by now if you’d left it. I, uh...I did leave behind a bit of a mess. You must have gotten a good fantasy air freshener, it smells just fine in here.” He opened a drawer and motioned inside. “All his hair products and makeup are still here. He must not have been planning to see anybody.”

Kravitz nodded. “That seems like a logical conclusion. I know Barry hasn’t turned up a single person that he’s talked to so far in our search.”

“Right,” Angus said, sliding the drawer shut. “Have you turned up anything?”

Kravitz shook his head. “Not much. I’ve been looking around our bedroom, and one of his travel bags is missing, but...well, it doesn’t seem like he took much.”

“Let me take a look,” Angus said, and they began making their way back to the bedroom. Angus began rifling through Taako’s closet item by item as Kravitz stiffly looked into his bedside table for the dozenth time. Magnus joined them a moment later.

“Merle is a _disgusting_ old man,” he grumbled as he flopped on the bed. “He kept telling the basil how sexy its leaves are, and I think he was hitting on the oregano when I left, I dunno. I had to get away from that. What are we looking for in here?”

“Clues, of course,” Angus replied with a grin.

“Alright, Sass Machine,” Magnus snapped with a grin, tossing a pillow in Angus’ direction. “Be a little more specific.”

“He’s armed,” Lup called, leaning in through the doorway. “No sign of the replacement umbrella I made him or the KrEbStAr. So far those are the only things I’ve found to be missing.”

“Good to know,” Angus said. He turned and tossed his notebook at Magnus then went back to the clothes in the closet. “Write that down for me. Mr. Kravitz, where’s your dirty laundry basket?” Kravitz hurried out of the room as Magnus concentrated on writing in the notebook that was a touch too small for his hands.

“Mr. Magnus, you remember when the three of you went shopping for fantasy shorts?” Angus asked, finally reaching the end of the closet.

“Yeah?”

“Taako got a skirt, right?”

“Yeah…”

Kravitz returned to the room holding a basket of dirty laundry which Angus abruptly took from him and dumped on the floor. He dug through the pile of clothing, tossing shirts and underwear in every direction as the others watched. Finally he sat back on his knees and looked up from his circle of clothing.

“That skirt he bought? It’s missing. He’s in Refuge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _guessss who we get to see next weeeeeek......._ :3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys: I want to see my little boy!  
> Me: HERE HE COMES!
> 
> For real though, this is one of my favorite chapters in this story, and I have been SO excited to share it. Let's catch up with what's been going on with Taako, shall we?
> 
> Quick heads up, Taako does briefly experience some suicidal feelings in this chapter. He just needs a hug real bad right now.

It was funny, in a really not all that funny kind of way, that the place where he felt the smallest bit safe was Refuge. _Refuge._ The town with the name that meant safety, where he had already died more times than he could now remember. 

Paloma’s house smelled as warm and enticing as it had when Taako first visited the little mining town. Better, even. As Taako approached the cottage it occurred to him that he wasn’t sure when he had last eaten. Whatever, he shoved that thought down deep. The familiar cottage was impossibly small, hardly looked like more than a garden shed, but he knew the worlds it could contain, and he knocked lightly on the door.

“Come iiin!”

He cautiously entered the tiny room inside, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light of her home. It was just as he remembered it - crystal teardrops crowding the ceiling and reflecting the warm light coming from the dark potbelly stove, breads and sweets floating around the room. He gently pushed aside a pie which drifted lazily away under its glass cover and saw Paloma bent over in front of the stove, sliding something in.

“Taako,” she said without turning around to see who he was. “You’ve come to see me about a problem you have, no?” 

“Uh, yeah. I mean, I guess there’s no reason for me to try to tell you that’s not the case, huh?” He half chuckled to try to cover up his anxiety as he ducked under a plate of croissants. She closed the oven and turned around, dusting her hands on her apron as she did so.

“No, there is not,” she said. “Sit, please. You have diamonds for prophecy this time?”

“No, I - no,” Taako admitted. He sat on the bench she motioned to, digging his nails into the soft rug that covered it. “I don’t want a prophecy this time.”

“You do not desire a prophecy?”

“Hah, uh, no. Cha’boy’s future is fucked, that’s something I can see by myself, ya dig?” He clutched the rug more tightly in his palms. Was he stupid to think she’d help him with this? “Nah, I actually - see, there’s something wrong with my - you told me once you use scone magic. When you bake.”

“And you want me to show you my tricks,” she said, a knowing gleam in her eye. She sat at the table across from him and rested her elbows on the table.

“Well, I mean - yeah, natch.”

“You think there is something wrong in how you cook,” she stated simply. Taako closed his eyes hard against the cutting truth of her words. “Glamour Springs was not your fault, Taako. The chalice told you this.”

“Yeah, what if it was lying?” he snapped, looking up at her again. “What if that was, I don’t know, just a trick of the thrall or something? You’re telling me that I’m - I’m supposed to trust that thing? You saw what it did to this town. You think it would, that it would be _trustworthy?”_

“And you don’t?”

Taako sighed and stared at his trembling knees. “It...it happened again,” he said in a small voice. She sat silently for so long he began to wonder if she’d even heard him. He stayed there, waiting, his breath catching in his chest as the memories he was trying to run away from pounded back. _Angus, in his arms, not breathing, his body limp, torn right from his hands…_

Paloma reached above her head and a plate of scones floated towards her. She plucked one off the dish and held it out towards Taako. The jammy raspberries oozed between the cracks in the crumbly pastry, white glaze shining dully on its top. “This is what brought you back to me, no?” she asked. Taako eyed it nervously. “First, you eat. You have not eaten in days, Taako. Then, lessons.”

“I don’t have anything to pay you,” Taako admitted. “I didn’t bring any money and, well, I don’t exactly plan on robbing the bank this time.”

“No payment,” Paloma insisted. “You bake with me, that is all. Then, you will know what you need to know.”

Taako hesitated a moment longer, then took the pastry from Paloma’s outstretched hand. It was still warm under his fingers. He nibbled at first, but the flavors of the butter and the glaze and the fruit were so perfectly balanced that the triangular pastry vanished before he’d had a chance to realize how hungry he was. She followed up the scone with a thick slice of warm buttered sourdough bread, then a piece of rhubarb pie, a whole plate of madeleines, three kolaches, and a single enormous cinnamon roll. 

“Feeling better?” she asked as he licked the glaze from his fingers. 

“Mmm, yeah. Well, I mean, I’ll probably crash from this sugar rush pretty quick, if it doesn’t make me sick first, but sure.”

“Nobody gets sick from my baking. Part of the magic.”

Taako’s ears perked up. “Yeah, see, that’s what I gotta know! How do you do... _all_ of this?” he asked earnestly, motioning at the pastries floating around his head. Paloma smiled reassuringly then leaned across the table so that she was nose to nose with Taako. He felt suddenly very unnerved.

“I will show you. But you will _not_ question my methods. You will follow my directions exactly. And then you will eat what you have made. Yes?”

“Uh...well, yeah. Deffo. Cha’boy’s got it,” he said quickly, suddenly starting to sweat. Paloma quickly pulled away, looking very pleased.

“Good. We start now.”

***

Paloma slid a plate of scones across the table to Taako. “Here. This is your creation. Eat.”

They looked fine, just like Paloma’s own scones in fact. They were nearly identical. That wasn’t too much of a surprise - she’d supplied the recipe and stood by Taako’s side the entire time, making him perform all the steps but overseeing all of them. Still, he didn’t trust them. Not at all. How could he? His food was deadly, he’d seen it firsthand more than once.

Paloma saw his hesitation and snatched a scone off the plate, holding it so close to his face the glaze brushed his nose. _“Eat.”_

Taako sighed, taking the scone from Paloma’s hand. _Fine,_ he thought. So what if his food was deadly. Why not eat it? Dozens of people had already died from his food - _Angus_ had died - he might as well eat his own food, too.

It was good. He might have even called it delicious if he wasn’t anxiously waiting for the sickness to set in. He could hear the people coughing in Glamour Springs, he could smell the vomit in his own bathroom, he could hear the gut-wrenching whistle of Angus’ closing windpipe, and he waited for it to happen to him, too. He ate the whole thing, and he waited a long time.

Nothing happened.

Paloma watched him with an unsettling intensity as he waited for the inevitable to come. She didn’t speak once, didn’t move, didn’t even seem to blink. Finally Taako broke and began to shout.

“So what’s the secret? What did you make me _do?_ I payed attention, I memorized every step, but nothing, _nothing_ was different than anything I’ve done before! But I’m still _here! I’m_ not dying, but _they_ did! So what’s _different now?”_

“You have your answer, Taako. Nothing is different,” she said calmly.

“What are you _talking_ about?” he shouted. _“Something_ must be different, I must be doing _something_ wrong! What _is_ it?”

“Nothing, Taako,” she repeated. “The answer is nothing.”

Taako jumped up from the table, overturning the bench with the rug and throwing the plate of scones to the floor. The ceramic shattered loudly, but he didn’t care. “This was a waste of my time! I thought you could _help_ me, but instead you’re _mocking_ me!”

“There is no mockery here, Taako. Only truth.”

“Fuck you! _Fuck_ you, you pastry witch! I never should have come here, I should have _known_ I wouldn’t get anything useful from you! Taako’s _out!”_ He turned to go, walked two steps and abruptly turned around and scooped his scones off the floor from under the broken porcelain, then stormed out, slamming the door behind him. 

He pretended he didn’t hear the door reopening behind him.

“Taako. Before you go, I have one last thing for you.”

Taako tensed up, seething. One of his scones crumbled in his clenched hands. “What _is_ it, Paloma?” he growled, turning back to her. “I told you I didn’t want any prophecies from you today!”

“Not a prophecy,” she said calmly. She held up a rubber sealed glass jar which was filled with a strange, thick looking foamy substance. “This is for you.”

Taako frowned, shifting his scones to one arm so he could take the jar from her hands. He eyed it carefully, trying to parse out her motivations. “Sourdough starter?” he muttered, the edges smoothing from his voice. “Paloma, I just cussed you out and broke one of your dishes. What - why are you giving me your sourdough starter?”

“Is only one of many,” she said cheerfully, shrugging as if her gift didn’t matter all that much. “I think my baking buddy would like to have some.”

“Your - I’m not-”

“You must take care of it,” she added sharply, cutting him off. Her gaze was suddenly firm and intense. “It is special thing. Alive. You can keep my sourdough alive, yes?”

Taako turned the jar over in his hands. The bubbles in the paste were large and healthy. He remembered the piece of bread she’d fed him a few hours ago. Yes, this would make some very good bread.

“Paloma...why are you being so kind to me?” he asked. He certainly didn’t deserve it after the tantrum he’d just thrown.

“Mmm, because I like you, dear,” she said. She patted his cheek, then turned and closed herself back in her little house, leaving a baffled Taako outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, Paloma was an absolute _delight_ to write, and the world needs more of her. She's wonderful.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, everyone! I hope everyone here's having a great weekend! I'm feeling a bit sick unfortunately, so come talk to me about this story in the comments, each and every comment always brightens my day! <3
> 
> No particular warnings for this chapter, but it is a bit short this week. These scenes just didn't seem to work with any other chapters, so they became a chapter of their own. Hope you guys enjoy it, even if it is a bit brief!

Everyone wanted to go along, of course. It was Barry of all people that suggested that might not be the best idea.

“Listen, we haven’t seen the guy in a week. We have no idea what he’s been up to, or how he’s feeling, or if he’s even seen anyone in that time. I think we should take it slow. Go easy on him.”

Magnus I-Rush-In Burnsides pouted. Merle patted him on the back.

“Barry’s right,” Lup said, standing by her husband’s words. “All of us jumping him at once will be overwhelming. I’ll go get him. He’ll trust me. Don’t worry, I’ll bring him right home.”

“I’m coming too,” Kravitz said, standing from his place on the couch where he had been very quiet until now. 

“Now hold up, boss man,” Lup protested. “I know how much you like my brother, but having you be the first person to pop up in his life after the way you disappeared on him...it’s gonna hit a sore spot, for sure.”

“All the more reason for me to be there,” Kravitz said firmly, smoothing his pants and materializing his feathered cowl around his shoulders. “I caused this whole mess, I should go fix it.” His face was blank and stoic, but Lup had worked with him long enough and been on enough double dates to pick up on his quirks. He was generally good at keeping an expressionless face when the moment required one, but even in the midst of a good reaping she could detect hints of giddiness - he loved his job, as weird as it was. But this moment was the opposite. Under his impassive mask there were flicks of guilt and sadness. As different as he and Taako were, in this moment Kravitz reminded her of her brother. She sighed.

“Fine. If that’s what your conscience needs, then I’ll let you come. But _I’m_ in charge. This is _my_ brother we’re looking for, and I trump you every day.”

“Aunt Lup,” Angus interrupted. He approached her and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was suddenly unsure what he’d intended to say in the first place. _Tell him I’m okay_ or _Bring him back soon_ or something like that probably. But his voice had stopped working and suddenly there were tears in his eyes and a sob catching in his throat and he couldn’t think. Lup quickly drew him to her as she realized what was happening, and with one hand on the back of his head she let him cry on her shoulder.

“I will do anything it takes to bring my brother back safe,” she assured him in a whisper. “You hear that? _Anything.”_

Angus nodded into her collarbone, suddenly embarrassed at how thoroughly wet her shirt had become, and he pulled away sniffling. Lup yanked the sleeve of her cloak down over her wrist and used it to wipe the tears and snot from Angus’ face. She held his shoulders firmly while he wiped off his glasses, and as he put the de-fogged lenses back in place he could see her. Her face was set with a firm determination that he knew to be a promise that she meant it. She would truly do anything to bring back Mr. Taako - and, well, Aunt Lup was capable of a lot of things. 

Lup gave Angus one last friendly slap on the shoulder before she turned away. “You nerds look out for each other,” she said to no one in particular as her scythe formed in her hand. “Skeleman, let’s go.”

***

“Thank you for calling Taako’s Amazing School of Magic, my name is Ren. We have correspondence courses available for immediate enrollment and registration is open for on-campus courses starting this fall. How can I get you started on your magical education journey today?”

A small voice crackled back to her through the stone. “Hello Miss Ren, I’m - This is Angus McDonald.”

“Oh, Mr. McDonald!” Ren replied brightly. “Are you finally interested in that teaching offer? Taako’s been eager to bring you on, you know. I’m sure he’s mentioned it to you.”

“Of course, plenty of times, Miss Ren,” Angus replied. “But that’s not why I’m calling.”

“Well that’s disappointing,” she said, her voice still warm. “It sure would be a pleasure to have you join us, you know.”

“Maybe sometime,” he responded noncommittally, “but Miss Ren-”

“Please, Mr. McDonald, just call me Ren.”

“Oh - okay. Then I guess you’d better just call me Angus.”

“Not a problem, Angus. Now, what _is_ the reason for your call?”

“Mi- uh, Ren, have you heard from Mr. Taako recently?” Angus asked, stumbling to omit the honorific from her name. Ren frowned.

“I...no, Angus, not this week. It’s not unusual, really. He likes to handle his side of the business independently, and he trusts me to do the same most of the time. What is unusual is that you’re not the first person to ask me that this week. Mr. Bluejeans called me asking about him a few days ago. I didn’t think much of it then, but now that you’re also calling...well, both you and Mr. Bluejeans are people I would expect to be able to get ahold of him without my help, and the fact that you haven’t been able to has me pretty concerned, Angus. Is something wrong?”

Angus sighed from the other end of the call and Ren felt her stomach clench. She was right, then.

“I’m in the middle of an investigation,” Angus told her. “Mr. Taako went missing from our - from his house a few days ago. I have found reason to believe that he was headed for Refuge when he left. Mr. Kravitz and Miss Lup are headed there now to try to find him, but I thought since you were living there yourself when he first visited, perhaps you might have some insight into where in town he might be found. Particularly a place he might go if he didn’t want to be noticed.”

Ren thought for a moment, wrangling her thoughts away from _Why would Taako be hiding?_ to try to focus on more relevant information. “Well...there are some less used mine shafts outside of town. I know while he was there he and Magnus and Merle spent quite a bit of time down there...but the mining business has picked back up since that new diamond vein was found, and I’m not sure it would be as secluded a hiding place now as it would have been a few years ago.”

“Mine...shafts…” Angus muttered to himself, and Ren thought she could hear him taking notes. “Thank you, Ren. Hopefully that will be helpful.”

“Of course, Angus, anything for Taako.” She fidgeted with her own pen for a moment. “Angus...if you don’t mind me asking, if it wouldn’t interfere with your investigation to tell me...do you know why Taako might have left?”

Angus was silent for a moment, and Ren began to think he might not answer. Just as she was about to apologize for asking, he spoke up.

“I had dinner at his house earlier this week,” he said. There was a little wobble in his voice that made Ren think he might be crying. “It turns out I’m allergic to cashews, and, well, we didn’t know that before but I had a pretty serious reaction and...well, I think Mr. Taako believes he killed me, Miss Ren. And it seems like that brought back some pretty serious fears of his.”

Ren set her pen down and rubbed her eyes. “Yes, I...I know a little about what happened in Glamour Springs,” she said quietly. The clock on her bookshelf began to chime noon. That was odd, the day was nearly over. She’d have to get it fixed, but she ignored it for now. “Are you doing alright, Angus?”

“I’m just fine now, Ren. Thank you for your concern.”

The clock chimed again.

“Of course, Angus. If I can further help your investigation in any way, please call me. Or I’ll call you if I think of anything else. And Angus?”

“Yes?”

“Let me know as soon as you find him, alright?”

“I will,” Angus promised. “Thank you for your help.”

The clock chimed its twelfth bell just as Ren was about to hang up. Suddenly something in Ren’s gut flipped and her eyes locked with the face of the clock. “Angus, wait!”

“Yes?”

“Check the temple. It’s where he met Istus. I don’t know if he would be there or not but...I don’t know, it just feels right.”

“I’ll let Miss Lup and Mr. Kravitz know. Thank you, Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm, Ren is just *chefkiss* I should write about her more.
> 
> We're gonna see more of Taako next week! We're getting real close to the ending, and I'm excited!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back to cha'boy! We're so close to the end I can taste it.
> 
> No special warnings for this chapter, so enjoy!

“Who needs you?” Taako screamed at the altar, blasting off spells without thought. “Who needs you anyway? If this is what Fate has made for me, I don’t want it!” He continued blindly firing spells at the altar, and only a small corner of his mind was surprised at how many flames he saw, at just how much of Lup seemed to come out in the spells he fired in his anger, at how the temple seemed to resemble the fantasy DMV his sister had destroyed on their best day ever...but the best day ever was a far away memory, and he didn’t know when he would see his sister again, if ever, and eventually even his anger couldn’t supply enough energy to fire another spell and he dropped his glaive by his side. Finally exhausted he tried to catch his breath, waving away the smoke as his flames slowly died down. As the ashy clouds dissipated, a luminous figure slowly began to appear, hair gently floating around their body as if underwater, knitting needles silent in their hand. _“Istus.”_

The goddess smiled gently at Taako. “I was wondering when you would contact me. You look surprised to see me, Taako.”

“Yeah, well… I guess I didn’t really expect you to show up,” he muttered, suddenly very aware of the destruction he had caused. 

“One of my beloved followers comes to my house and calls my name - did you really think I wouldn’t answer?”

“No one else wants me now. I figured you wouldn’t be any different.”

“Then perhaps you don’t know me as well as you should.”

“I think I know about you and what you do well enough,” Taako spat bitterly. It felt wrong, just a bit, to talk back to a goddess, but he’d never used tact with Istus before, it seemed pointless to start now. Istus didn’t seem bothered by his tone anyway, and she sat down on the steps in front of her singed altar.

“Well, I know you, Taako,” she said, completely unfazed by his accusation. “I know what happened, and I know you’re alone again.”

“Yeah, well, that’s nothing new,” he grumbled.

“You don’t have to be,” she responded with calm conviction. He squinted at her, uncomprehending. She really did believe that, huh?

“No one will have me, not this time. Except Lup probably, but…” he sat down heavily beside her as he tried to explain. “She’s got Barry, and she’s got a job that she loves and that she’s good at, and if she tries to help me, I’ll fuck all that up for her...and for Barry, I suppose...I can’t do that to her.”

“You don’t think Kravitz will have you?”

The sound of his name stung, and Taako flinched as if bitten by it, reminded bluntly of everything he had lost so quickly. “Kravitz? I...he’s the literal fucking grim reaper, he’s already compromised so much about who he’s supposed to be for me...he can’t do that again. He shouldn’t have to.”

“But you want him to, don’t you?”

Tears burned suddenly in Taako’s eyes, and he wasn’t sure if they were sad or angry tears. Sad at the memory of the last day he’d seen Kravitz, sad when he realized how recent it had been though it felt so long ago, angry at himself for always managing to ruin everything good he got his hands on, angry at Istus for what she was accusing him of. “Look, I know I’m a selfish guy. That’s not news. You don’t have to rub it in. I’m tryin real hard not to be a selfish asshole here, okay?” A myriad of emotions were battling each other in his stomach and he felt sick.

She contemplated this for a moment, gently toying with the tapestry in her hands but still not putting the needles to work. “It seems to me you’re very good at underestimating your worth.”

“And it seems to me you’re very good at spouting bullshit.” He sighed, letting his tense shoulders droop and dropped his head onto her shoulder. She tried to protest as he did (“I don’t think you should-”) but he was leaning on her already before he remembered she was a literal goddess and, well, he hadn’t actually blown up. As angry and hurt as he felt, he was surprised how calming the feeling of her shoulder pressed into his temple was. He breathed deeply, allowing the feeling of calm and her arm to wrap around him, and though his anxieties were not gone, he felt more at ease. He almost didn’t mind when he noticed a few tears had escaped their dams and were wandering down his nose. Why should he care what she thought of him, anyway? “You’re friends with the Raven Queen, right?” he asked finally. “Could you ask her to give him back?”

The look on Istus’ face at his question was bitter, bemused, almost a smile. “No, I cannot. And I wouldn’t even if I could.”

“Or could you like...I don’t know, change a few lines of that scarf, or whatever?”

She chuckled. “Sorry, Taako. What has been done is done. I’ve told you before, I cannot change big picture stuff.”

“Ugh. What’s the point in working for a literal goddess if you can’t ask a favor now and then?”

“Sometimes Fate takes us to places we don’t expect,” she replied quietly. “Its machinations will be revealed in time. Don’t despair yet.”

There are two basic scenarios in which an elf might purr: when they are incredibly content, or when they are in pain or distress. It was only one of many ways in which elves are like cats. But leaning there against Istus, Taako found himself in a strange combination of the two. He was the most calm and relaxed he had been in several days, though his pain and grief was in no way lessened. So when he felt the involuntary rumble begin deep in his throat, he was a bit startled. He was unsure why it had begun. He glanced up nervously at Istus - people often reacted with surprise when they discover this well kept secret - but her expression and demeanor did not change, and of course, he thought, she’s a goddess, she must know already. He decided that if she wasn’t going to make a thing out of it, he wouldn’t either. Besides, it felt nice. It was soothing. In fact, it was the first nice thing he’d felt since...since…

Istus held him as he wept and until, finally fully exhausted, he slept. 

***

In retrospect, it seemed odd that Taako’s tantrum had taken so long to draw anyone’s attention. Maybe Istus had done something funny with time again. After all, she’d slowed time down a lot during his first visit here. Granted, time was wrong here in all kinds of ways then, but who knows. What Taako did know was that when he was awakened, he felt like he’d been sleeping for hours. Whatever time it was, if time had passed at all, he felt more rested now than he had in about five days. It was surprisingly nice. Equally surprising but less nice was why he was awakened in the first place.

“Now what the hell is going on in here?” a nasally voice shouted, jolting him awake. “Taako? What are you doing here? And what has happened to my temple?”

“Aw, fuck,” Taako grumbled, sitting up from the steps to the altar where he had been sleeping. Istus was no longer there, though he wasn’t surprised. He rolled his head to look at the flesh man who stood in the center aisle, looking around the charred, smoky room with a shocked expression. “Hey, Luca.”

“What has happened?” Luca cried, walking over him to examine the singed altar cloths and blackened walls. “Who would do such a thing to the temple of Istus?”

Taako scrambled for an excuse. “Uh, yeah, that was...there was a monster in here, m’dude, a uh...a real big...ah, shit, what’s good at doing fire attacks?”

“A gauth maybe?” Luca suggested, turning to him.

“A what now?”

“Like a beholder.”

“Oh, one of them eye boys! Ah, sure, yeah, for sure, that’s exactly what it was. And then it placed a sleeping curse on me and it must have escaped! Thank Istus you showed up and woke me up or I would have slept forever! You really saved my skin, m’dude!” 

“And that’s what happened?”

“Yup! Sure was!” Taako lied cheerfully. The two stared at each other for a few moments before Taako sighed and dropped his head. “Fine, that’s not what happened. But I...fuck...I’ll fix it, don’t worry, I won’t leave it looking like this.”

“Why are you here, anyway?” Luca asked.

“Well…” Taako scrunched up his face, looking for the right explanation. “Call it...call it a pilgrimage, maybe. Had to chat with the old lady, you know? Just...got a bit carried away, I guess.”

“Really ding-donged it up, huh?” Luca asked, picking up a candlestick from the altar. The candle it had once held had fully melted away.

“Well, yes and no,” Taako replied with a guilty shrug. “Got in my chat with the lady, so I didn’t ding that part but...you could say the whole...vandalism thing or whatever, maybe I donged that.”

Luca shook his head and let out a small chuckle as he sat down next to Taako. “So, you’re telling me you’re still a hooligan?”

“I...yeah, natch, Taako’s still a hooligan,” Taako conceded. “You don’t...you don’t seem particularly upset by all this.” Luca shrugged.

“Why should I be? If Istus wanted to smite you or something she probably would’ve done it by now. If she isn’t gonna get all hot and bothered about it, why should I?” He brushed some ash off his robe and went on. “Besides, you said you’d fix it, and we all know you’re like the most powerful wizard in like a hundred planar systems, so I’m pretty sure you can handle the job.”

Taako sighed. “That’s big talk, Luca. Cha’boy ain’t really feelin like the hottest shit in a hundred planar systems today.”

“Why, ya sick?”

“No, not - that’s - well, sick of me, maybe,” Taako admitted. Fuck, what was he doing opening up to Luca of all people? He stood up abruptly, straightening out his hat as he moved away from the priest. “Let me fix this up, alright? That’s at least one thing Taako _can_ do.”

Luca helped without offering. Taako accepted the help without comment. He wanted to tell Luca to leave him alone, to let him make amends on his own, he didn’t deserve to have help. But he’d talked more than he wanted to already, so between the two of them they managed to bring the temple back to its former, unscorched state in very little time. As Taako completed his final spell, transmuting the melted wax on the altar back into its candle form, he finally spoke up again.

“So, ah...you still camping out in that cave of yours?” He tried to make it sound like simple small talk.

“Of course not!” Luca replied cheerfully. “I was only staying there after the temple aged so rapidly, my living quarters were not quite livable. Not that I was particularly living either, I suppose. But after the temple was rebuilt I moved back in. The cave isn’t really the nicest of places to sleep.”

Taako shrugged. “Can’t imagine it would be, but...mind if a, uh, certain follower of Istus took over that place for their pilgrimage or whatever?” Luca gave him a curious look.

“There are nicer places if you need someplace to stay, Taako,” he said.

“Not really looking for a five star hotel here,” Taako explained. “Just need a place where...looking for some solitude. Gonna try out the hermit lifestyle for a bit.”

“That doesn’t sound much like Taako.” Aw, fuck, he was getting concerned.

“Wasn’t really asking for your opinion, my man,” Taako retorted, “just trying to be polite enough to ask permission.”

“Well, permission granted, I guess,” Luca conceded. “Just know I’m not giving it a glowing review on Fantasy Yelp.”

“As long as no one wants to come visiting, it’ll suit cha’boy just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually one of the very first things I wrote, before the first chapter even! And silly me thought this was gonna be a short story at the time. _eyeroll_ Let me know what you think in the comments! I treasure every single one!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Happy weekend everybody! No special warnings of this chapter that I can think of. Enjoy!

Kravitz had never been to Refuge before, and the last and only time Lup had been here she’d been stuck inside an umbrella, so her knowledge of the place was a little foggy. It _sounded_ familiar, which was weird, but she’d never seen the town before, so she didn’t recognize how the streets had new cobblestones, or that the Davy Lamp had fresh paint, or that the clock tower had been recently scrubbed clean. She and Kravitz had stepped from their portal outside of town so as not to draw too much attention to themselves, but now they wandered down the main street of the growing town, both feeling a bit lost. Lup stopped in front of the statue in the middle of the road, gazing up at the three figures in front of her for the first time, lost in thought. 

“Alright, where do we start?” Kravitz wondered out loud. Before Lup could find an answer a chubby little red and black bird with a faint yellow glow landed on the statue in front of them.

“Greetings, visitors!” it said brightly. Kravitz looked startled to hear it speak, but it ignored his reaction. “My name is Roswell! Welcome to Refuge!”

Lup cocked her head, recognizing the bird’s voice immediately. “Roswell, didn’t you used to be, like...huge?”

“Well...it’s true, my form currently is but a fraction of my original form. I kind of lost a bit of the body I had before while trying to protect the town from a purple worm but...how do you know that? I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“Oh that’s right,” Lup muttered to herself, grasping at her fuzzy memories. “We haven’t met formally, no. I’m Lup. I’m Taako’s sister.”

“Of course, my friend Taako!” Roswell chirped in response. “I didn’t realize he had a sister!”

“Neither did he,” Lup replied, barreling on through the conversation before her statement could be questioned. “Look, Roswell, I haven’t seen my brother in a few days and I think he might have come here. Have you seen him?”

Roswell cocked their head to the side as they thought. “No, I haven’t seen him at all. Elder Cassidy might know more than I do. Should I fetch her for you?”

“Please,” Lup nodded, and Roswell flapped their wings and was gone.

“So...they’ve got talking birds in this town, huh?” Kravitz asked.

“Only Roswell,” Lup answered. “And if I remember correctly, I don’t think they like to be called a bird.”

“I - but - he doesn’t?” Kravitz stammered, confused.

Lup gave him a pointed look. “No. _They don’t.”_

Kravitz was quiet a moment then nodded. “They’re not a bird. Got it.” He sat down on the base of the statue, resting his chin in his hands as he waited. Lup began to pace impatiently in front of him.

A few moments later Roswell returned followed by Cassidy who had come hurrying out of the elder’s manor. She was dressed in an ill fitting but clean suit and had a wildly cheerful look in her eye as she quickly approached them. Kravitz stood and brushed himself off to greet her.

“Hiya, strangers!” she cried as she came up to them. “I gotta say, it’s still excitin’ when we get visitors round here, cause of how long we couldn’t have any visitors at all, ya know? How ya’ll doin’?”

“Hi, Elder Cassidy, we’re-” Lup was cut off before she could fully answer.

“Hey, I know you!” Cassidy cried, bending over a bit to look at Lup. “You’re one of them space gerblins!”

“I...you know what, yeah. I’m one of the space gerblins. Name’s Lup.” She held out her hand to shake Cassidy’s, wincing when she nearly had it crushed.

“Hiya, gerblin Lup! Who’s the dark gerblin with ya? I don’t know him.”

“Greetings, Elder Cassidy,” Kravitz replied formally, also holding out his hand. Lup shook her head, realizing he hadn’t noticed her own pained expression a moment ago. “My name is Kravitz.”

“Nice ta meetcha, Crakers!” Cassidy said brightly, shaking his hand with the same crushing grip.

“Cassidy, have you seen my brother?” Lup asked quickly, ignoring Kravitz’ confused look when Cassidy got his name wrong. “I think Taako came here a few days ago and I’m trying to find him.”

“I haven’t seen any of you space gerblins since the spooky light came out of the sky and gave me them crazy visions! You remember that? I found the littlest gerblin layin’ in the road! Silly place to hide during the ‘pocalypse I thought. Then my buddy Roswell got that purple worm to fight that nasty giant! You remember all that?”

“Yeah, Cassidy, I remember. So you haven’t seen my brother at all?”

“Who?”

_“Taako,”_ Lup repeated, trying not to get irritated. “You’re sure you haven’t seen Taako?”

“Nope! Not at all!” Cassidy answered loudly. “You might try lookin’ in the Davy Lamp, lotsa travelers like to stop in there!”

“Thanks, Cassidy,” Lup said, grabbing Kravitz’ arm as she turned away. “Let’s go.”

Lup practically dragged Kravitz behind her as she walked briskly back down the street. He followed quietly, submitting to her lead without comment. They arrived at the Davy Lamp quickly, and Lup placed a hand on the swinging door to enter, but then stopped. She turned back to Kravitz with a sigh.

“Alright, Ghost Rider. What’s up with you?” she demanded.

“What do you mean?” Kravitz asked.

“I mean you’re all moody,” she replied, waving a hand vaguely in his direction in a manner distinctly like Taako. “You’re never this quiet. It’s weirding me out.”

“I’m - I’m fine,” he insisted.

“No, obviously you’re not,” she snapped. “Spill the beans, man, what’s going on in there?”

Kravitz sighed. “I don’t know to be honest. I’m...afraid, I guess? I’m worried. About Taako.”

Lup rolled her eyes. “Yeah, no shit my dude, we all are. But I’m not blind, you’ve got more than worry going on right now. So what’s the real answer?” She crossed her arms and leaned against the building, waiting for Kravitz’ response.

Kravitz tugged at his cloak anxiously and looked down at his feet. “I...I think I’m angry.” Lup raised an eyebrow.

“You _think?”_

“It’s confusing,” Kravitz went on. “I’m not sure what I’m angry about, or who I’m angry with. I’m angry at myself for rushing off with Angus so quickly that I made Taako believe he died, for starting this whole mess. It’s...regrettable.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Lup said.

Kravitz chuckled dryly. “Yeah. But I also feel like...I feel like I’m angry at Taako? For leaving I suppose. That his first reaction to making a mistake is to run. I...we need him, Lup, and he just left.”

Lup nodded, thinking a moment. “You’re angry that he left you to deal with the aftermath,” she said quietly.

“Yes, and...Lup, he loves me, right?”

Her eyes widened, suddenly understanding. “Oh, _Kravitz,”_ she whispered.

“It’s just...I always believed he did, I never doubted it before,” Kravitz went on earnestly, a look of desperation in his face. “But it’s been such a long time since I’ve existed among the living, and he...well, maybe I’ve missed out on love for so long that I was desperate to see it where it wasn’t.”

“I...oh my gods, Kravitz, you’ve gotta be fucking blind.” Lup sighed and left the spot where she was leaning to stand in front of him. “My brother might not be one for sappy words or anything, but he’s crazy about you,” she insisted, taking him by the shoulders. “I’ve never seen him so head over heels for anyone, and I’ve known him a _long_ time. And I mean, the stress of all this is making all of us crazy I know, but it must be really messing with you because he...he would burn the world for you, Kravitz, and that’s coming from _me._ Holy _shit,_ I can’t believe I’m doing couples counseling for my _boss..._ Look, if anything, he left because he cares about you too much. He cares about everyone too much. He can’t stand to see people he cares about get hurt. Maggie, he protects people by rushing in and fighting shit so they don’t get hurt in the first place, but Taako...Taako protects people by taking himself out of the equation, because he’s afraid he’s the one who’s gonna do the hurting.”

“Well, it didn’t work,” Kravitz muttered bitterly.

“Obviously,” Lup conceded. “But now it’s our job to make sure he knows how much we need him around. So he knows his presence in our family does more good than it does harm.”

“That’s not gonna be easy,” Kravitz said.

“No,” Lup agreed. “It won’t be done in a day. He’s still gonna be unsure even after we get him home and clear this mess up. It’s gonna take a long time. Taako takes work, but he’s worth it. Are you ready to do it?”

“Lup, you know I’d do anything for Taako,” Kravitz answered truthfully.

“Good answer.” She was quiet a moment, searching Kravitz’ face. “You know Taako would do anything for you, too, right?” He nodded, just a little at first, then more confidently as he saw the intensity in her eyes. “Good. I know him better than anyone, Kravitz, even you, and I know he loves you. So get that straight in your head and let’s get moving. We’re close, I know it.” Kravitz nodded again and they walked together into the Davy Lamp.

The Davy Lamp was busy. Folks of every gender and race imaginable, dirty from a long day’s work in the mines, filled the room with their bodies and noise. Someone was playing a fiddle somewhere in the back of the room. A youngish woman, probably in her early twenties, was busy passing out drinks from the bar and didn’t notice Lup and Kravitz walking in. 

Lup stood on her tiptoes trying to search the room for her brother’s face with little luck. “Hoist me up, skeleman,” she said, grabbing Kravitz’ shoulder. “I can’t see.” Kravitz looked at her in surprise. “You heard me, dude, just do it! Before I start climbing up you myself.” 

Kravitz sighed, trusting her to mean it, and bent down to lift her up. Lup settled herself on Kravitz’ shoulders and quickly scanned the room from her new vantage point. No, Taako wasn’t here.

_“Hey, look, guys! One of the Birds is here!”_

“Aw, dunk,” Lup whispered. “Fuck, put me down, Krav.”

She was swarmed by smiling faces as her feet hit the floor again, with dozens of voices shouting about their love for her and her crewmates. Normally she wouldn’t mind, though she had never revelled in fame the way her brother did - but she was busy tonight, her _brother_ was _missing,_ and all the attention was keeping her from finding him.

_“June! Bring her a drink!”_

Oh shit, _June._ Of course, she must have been the one working at the bar. Lup had never seen her before, had quite forgotten that she’d started working here after time had been set right in this town, so she hadn’t recognized her before. But she knew, she knew what the Chalice had done to June. She’d heard everything when she’d been here before, or at least most of it. And suddenly the idea of facing her made Lup feel sick.

Kravitz saw the uneasy look on Lup’s face and placed a strong arm around her shoulders. “Folks, please!” he called, raising a hand to quiet the noisy crowd. “Thank you for your warm welcome. I assure you, Lup is happy to be here with you fine folks.” She glared at him, but he continued, taking advantage of having the crowd’s attention. “We are here because we are looking for Lup’s brother, Taako. I know you know him. We believe he may have been traveling here to Refuge, and we need to talk to him. Does anyone here know the whereabouts of Taako?”

Confused murmuring rippled through the crowd and heads began to shake. “Whatever, Krav,” Lup muttered, beginning to turn away. “Let’s get out of here.”

“You’re really going to go so quickly? You look like you could use a drink.” June had appeared right in Lup’s path, smiling kindly. “Besides, I may not know where Taako is, but I know this town better than most, so I might be able to help point you in the right direction.”

Lup sighed and looked up at Kravitz. He nodded. “What kind of reds do you have?” he asked.

“I won’t claim we’ve only got the best,” June replied honestly, “but for a friend of Taako’s, I’ll make sure you get the best I’ve got. What about you, Lup?”

“I...yeah, fine. It’s been a stressful week. I guess I could use a drink. Something strong. Make it burn on the way down.”

“I’ve got just the thing,” June assured her. “Come with me.”

Kravitz sat down at the bar opposite of June and Lup followed. She might have noticed how stiff and anxious Kravitz seemed to be had she not been feeling the same herself. June served Kravitz his wine and set a glass of amber liquid in front of Lup, served neat. Lup sighed.

“Hang on here, June,” she said, hesitating to take the drink. “The currency around here is diamonds, right? I - we can’t pay you for this. We didn’t come here exactly expecting to stay long and we - well, we haven’t got any diamonds. Fuck, I don’t know if I even grabbed any gold on our way out either - we were in a bit of a rush…”

June waved her off. “Lup, please. You don’t need to worry about paying me for anything. Now _this_ fella,” she said, motioning at Kravitz with a wink, “I don’t know him, so things might be different. Free drinks for the savior of multiple universes, sure. No problem. Your goth bodyguard? I have yet to make up my mind about him.”

Kravitz sputtered a little bit. “I’m not-” But Lup just laughed.

“Goth bodyguard. That’s a new one. I like it.” She elbowed the still sputtering Kravitz affectionately before turning back to June. “Really, though. You don’t owe me anything. Not even free drinks.”

“Owe or not, I want you to have it,” June insisted. “Can’t I give a gift to a new friend?”

Lup slowly took the glass in her hands then gripped it tightly. “June,” she said slowly, fighting back the bile rising in her throat, “you...you know what we did to this world, right? I mean, surely you understand it more than most people...Everyone calls us the saviors of the universe or whatever, but we...you were _tortured_ by the things we made for a _long_ time, _way_ longer than you’ve been saved from them. The things that happened in this town, it...I didn’t make the chalice, so I guess you could say what you went through wasn’t my fault, not directly, but...I went along with it. I made a relic of my own, and countless people died because of it. I’m not okay with that. _You_ don’t have to be okay with that. The things we did…” Her voice trailed off. Kravitz placed a hand on hers and she realized how hot her skin was, as if it might burst into flames at any moment. She gulped down a lungful of air to steady herself then abruptly downed the drink June had placed in front of her, hissing as it slid down her throat.

“Damn,” she muttered. “I asked for something that burned and you did not disappoint.”

June smiled softly and took the empty glass from Lup to refill it. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, “I’ve lived much longer than it would appear. And that was awful. But I think you can relate to that. The time I spent with the chalice was...well, it was hell.” She placed another glass in front of Lup and met her eyes. “The choices you made had bad consequences,” she said seriously. “I know that as well as anyone. But you made the best choice you knew how to make, and I don’t blame you for that.”

Lup gritted her teeth, staring into the drink in front of her. Finally she looked back up at June, tears in her eyes. “How...how can you possibly forgive us?” she whispered. June sighed and leaned against the bar. She thought a bit before answering, leaving Lup to squirm in her silence.

“Maybe...maybe it’s because I know you regret it,” she said at last. “Because I know your apologies mean something.”

Lup gasped for air again, watching her tears fall into the glass before her. She gripped Kravitz’ hand tightly as she searched for a response - he’d been listening intently the whole time, of course, but he couldn’t understand how it felt, he would never understand - but her thoughts were cut short when the stone of farspeech in her pocket began to ring. She pulled her hand from Kravitz, ignoring the way he leaned forward eagerly as she desperately fumbled at the pocket of her jeans to pull it out. “It’s Angus,” she whispered hoarsely, furiously rubbing her red and snotty nose before answering. “Hey - hey, kiddo, what’chu got for me dude?” She wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand, rapidly refocusing herself as she listened to the young boy talk. “Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. Yeah, that’s good info, Ango. Thanks for that, we’ll look into it right away.” She swiped the stone off and shoved it back into her pocket as she turned past Kravitz and back to June. 

“You know of any good hiding places around the temple of Istus?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter took me places I didn't expect to go, both Lup and Kravitz surprised me with how vulnerable they got in this one, but I'm so happy with how it came out. We're getting _so close_ to finding our favorite flip wizard!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *singing* twin reUNION!!!~~~ And also the first in a long series of hugs. But also...other emotions.

Lup held a small flame aloft in her hand as stepped into the entrance of the cave. She immediately knew her brother was there. She could smell him before she saw him, but the smell was wrong. He didn’t smell like cinnamon and hairspray like usual - no, it was an older smell. It was the smell of dirt and sweat and smoke, much like when they had been children living on the road, tagging along with whatever caravan would take them on and scraping to get by. It was _wrong_ and it hurt to notice that. This Taako wasn’t thriving like he should be, not like he did at home surrounded by his family. This Taako was alone and frightened, and that was something she would not allow to continue to be. Not if she could do something about it.

Taako was asleep in the back corner of the cave, curled up on a ratty rug with his back towards them. For what felt like the millionth time Lup thought her soul might fly out of her chest, but this time not from fear but from joy. Her brother was _here._ Right in front of her. She could see him breathing and _oh gods, finally._ She took a deep breath to calm herself and quietly walked across the musty room and knelt beside him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Taako?”

He awoke with a jolt, ready to fight whatever had found its way into his hiding hole, but relief swept over his face as he recognized her. _“Lup,”_ he gasped, sitting abruptly and throwing his arms around her. She held him back tightly, and kneeling there in the middle of that cave floor, she never wanted to let him go. She remembered that day several years ago and yet not so long ago when he had found her in a different cave, still trapped in the Umbrastaff, and how his familiar touch had breathed life back into her and awakened her from years of loneliness and how desperate she had been for him then, and she just _held him._ She held him and she cried, knowing that he had once searched for her the way she had been so desperately searching for him, knowing that he’d been robbed of recognizing her when he found her, and thankful, so very thankful that he’d found her then and that she had found him now. She found herself purring loudly, and she could feel him purring too, and their rumblings in their matching throats was the most comforting feeling she thought she had ever felt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked finally. “How did you find me?”

“That,” she laughed, pulling back from him just a little, “that’s something you’re not going to believe when I tell you, bro.”

As they pulled apart, Taako’s eyes slipped over her shoulder and his ears abruptly dropped and his purring changed to a low growl. Lup turned around in alarm, searching for what could have frightened her brother so suddenly, and realized.

“Oh, yeah. I brought him along, too.”

Kravitz was standing close to the entrance to the cave, watching their reunion anxiously. He had his scythe in his hand and its menacing blade glinted dully in the firelight. Taako stood and drew back, his ears pressed flat against the back of his neck.

“What are _you_ doing here?” he hissed.

Kravitz shifted his grip on his scythe. “We need to go, Taako.”

“Come to reap me at last, huh bone boy?” Taako spat. “You’ve been waiting for this day a long time haven’t you?”

Like any couple, Taako and Kravitz had had their disagreements, but Taako had never seen him like this before. His red eyes burned with a rage Taako had never seen directed at himself. He had known this day would come eventually. It was inevitable that his love for Taako would come to an end. Of course he would eventually leave. Everyone eventually did. He had only hoped that it would’ve lasted a little longer than this.

“Taako, we’ve been looking for you for days!” Kravitz cried.

“Cha’boy’s been outrunning Death for over a century, why stop now?” Taako let out a laugh that sounded manic.

“Taako, this isn’t a joke,” Kravitz insisted. “We needed you, and you left!”

“Got that right! I’m outskies! Taako rushes _out,_ my dude!” Taako snarled. “But you know what? I’m done rushing anywhere. Take me to ghost jail if you must. I don’t give a shit anymore.”

“Taako, I’m not here to reap you,” Kravitz said, his shoulders sagging as he spoke.

“No?” Taako asked, his lip curling up to bare his teeth. “That’s new.”

“I am going to take you home though,” Kravitz told him firmly. “There’s someone you need to see. Someone...you should talk to.”

“Wow, boss, you are...really bad at this,” Lup butted in, one comforting hand on Taako’s shoulder while her eyes burned in the direction of Kravitz. She let that gaze linger a moment before she turned back to her brother. “Look, Ko, things are...things are bad, it’s true, but they’re not as bad as you think they are. And I don’t think you’re going to believe that if I just say it, so I need you to come see for yourself. I need you to come home with me.” She cupped his face in her hands, locking her eyes with his and willing away the fear and doubt she saw there. “Look, your boney boyfriend did a shit job of saying so, but what he said is true. We need you.” He looked like he wanted to protest but she cut him off. “No, it’s true. We need you to come home. And sure, we can portal our way there and be home in like two seconds, but if you’re not ready to rush in like that we can take the long way round, and that’s okay. We’ll come with you. I’ll be right by you the whole time. You don’t have to be alone, Taako. You never need to be alone.” 

Taako sighed and hung his head, fully resigned to whatever she wanted.. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go. I don’t care.”

Lup pulled her brother closer and touched his forehead to hers. In a whisper barely audible even to him she said, “I know you don’t. But I do. And whatever it takes, I’m gonna make sure we make it through this.” With that she stepped away from him and summoned her scythe, watching him closely for any sort of protest. But he didn’t, so she swung the dark and glistening blade around and tore a hole in the musty air of the cave and disappeared inside, trusting him to follow her.

Kravitz hung back quietly as Taako took a step toward the swirling black of the portal his sister had made. Just before stepping through he stopped and turned to look at Kravitz.

“You couldn’t have let me have just one minute, huh?” Taako whispered, his voice cracking and accusatory as he spoke, his eyes glistening and wet. “Are your reaper duties so important that I couldn’t mourn him for just a _minute?”_

Kravitz felt his heart stutter and lurch to a dead stop. The pain and anger and fear was painted plainly across Taako’s face, and Kravitz knew _this was my fault. I did this. All this hurt and heartbreak, it’s my fault._ He never, never wanted to see Taako like this. Taako didn’t deserve to hurt like this. He hated himself for it. He clenched his fists against the guilt and grief he felt and dropped his head, unable to look at Taako any longer.

“I’m sorry, Taako. I’m so, so sorry.” Those hoarse whispered words were all he could manage.

Taako closed his eyes and pinched his lips closed as he turned away bitterly. With a deep, shaking breath he stepped out of the cave - 

_if Taako had known what to look for as he passed through the astral plane, he might have noticed there was none of the heat of Angus’ soul anywhere nearby, none of that familiar spark calling to him as his mortal body crossed_

\- and stepped into his living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short, I know, but I gotta drag out the angst for at least one more week. But Taako's gonna see his boy _next week!!!_


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You: I want to see my little boy!  
> Me: HERE HE COMES!!!
> 
> Really, though, I am beyond excited to finally share this chapter with you! I can't believe this moment has finally come! I'm, like, giddy about it.

The room was full of people, which, _ugh. Why can’t they just leave me alone?_ Before he’d gotten a chance to take it all in, Taako found himself scooped up into Magnus’ arms. He scrunched up his face, unready for this overwhelming show of affection - it was very like Magnus to initiate any interaction with a hug, but _why_ \- if he had to be home, he’d much rather be in bed, alone. Not surrounded by all these people. He was beginning to regret his decision to follow Lup and wished he’d taken the long route back. If he’d done that, then maybe everyone would’ve gotten tired of waiting and gone home before he’d gotten here at least.

“Gross, get off me, Mango,” Taako grumbled, trying to lean away from the embrace but firmly pinned to Magnus’ chest. “What’s this for?”

“We were worried about you, buddy!” Merle said, affectionately patting Taako’s arm.

“Worried? Don’t you get sentimental here, old man, cha’boy’s fine, I’m-” Taako shoved Magnus’ massive arms off of himself as he spoke - he didn’t deserve hugs right now, what the hell, didn’t they know what he’d done? - but as he did something behind Magnus caught his eye and he stopped. That was impossible, wasn’t it? He was seeing things, he had to be. It couldn’t possibly be... _“Angus.”_

“Good to see you, sir,” the boy said quietly, looking a little sheepish. Taako felt like he couldn’t breathe. His entire body felt frozen in place and heavy. He wanted to go to him, to touch him and verify that he wasn’t dreaming, to confirm that this was in fact real, but he couldn’t move.

“You’re...you’re not dead?” Taako whispered hoarsely. The words felt thick in his throat, like his voice didn’t want to come out at all. 

“No, sir,” Angus assured him, approaching his trembling mentor cautiously. “I know that’s what you thought, and I’m sorry I scared you.”

With trembling hands Taako reached out to touch the boy’s curls, to verify that he was in fact actually here, but drew back quickly at the lightest touch, his breath hissing sharply through his teeth. He was afraid to trust himself with this, as if by his touch something might happen to Angus again, as if the dream might crumble under his fingers.

“What was it? What did I do to you?”

“It was hardly your fault, sir,” Angus said earnestly, eager to reassure him. “I’ve evidently got an allergy to cashews. Quite an unusual one, too. It’s rare to be allergic to one tree nut and not others. I didn’t even know I had the allergy myself. None of us could have anticipated it.”

“But...but you’d stopped breathing! I held your body in my hands!”

“It was just a severe case of anaphylactic shock. Well, not ‘just’ - I certainly did almost die! But Kravitz took me to Merle just in time and-”

“Merle!” Taako whirled around on Kravitz, jabbing a finger at him. “You might’ve mentioned that!”

“Yeah...I fully botched that one,” Kravitz replied quietly. “Believe me, Taako, I’ve regretted it every day since.” The guilt was heavy in his voice, and it was a tone Taako hadn’t heard from him before. He withdrew his accusatory finger, a bit startled at this ready admission of guilt. He’d been so busy spending the last several days feeling overcome with guilt himself, he hadn’t considered that Kravitz might be feeling the same. The pain evident on Kravitz’ face was unnerving, and Taako turned away from him, uncomfortable with the knot in his stomach.

“So you’re...you’re alright now, though?” he asked Angus.

“Of course, sir,” Angus assured him. “Merle fixed me up and I’ve been feeling just fine.”

Taako reached out with trembling hands, cupping Angus’ face, finally trusting himself just enough to test this touch. Angus’ skin was warm and full of life, there was breath in his lungs. He didn’t crumble and vanish in Taako’s hands, it was real, it wasn’t a dream. Angus smiled a little at him, his own eyes turning red and wet as he leaned into his mentor’s touch. Taako felt his throat constricting as he struggled to breathe evenly and his vision blurred. He aggressively wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and pulled Angus to himself. He wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him fiercely, burying his fingers in Angus’ curly hair. Angus returned the embrace as Taako finally began to sob, and Angus cried too. Taako’s knees gave out beneath him as relief washed through his body - _his boy was_ here, _and he was_ alive, _this was_ real - and Angus came down with him. They knelt on the floor of the living room together, clinging to each other, unaware of the others in the room watching.

As Taako’s gasping breaths slowly evened and he thought he might be able to control his voice again, he carefully pulled away, meeting Angus’ eyes with his own. “If you tell anyone I cried over this I’ll feed you cashews again, on purpose this time,” he said hoarsely. Angus let out a rough laugh through his own tears and wiped his nose with his wrist.

“We’re all here, Taako,” Lup reminded him from where she stood holding Barry’s hand behind them.

“Shut up, Lulu,” Taako snapped. Angus nuzzled in closer.

“I love you...dad.”

Taako’s ears flicked up in surprise at that tiny whisper, his body tensed up and he started to pull back, started to say...something…

“Don’t even start, goofus, you know he’s right,” Lup said abruptly.

“Yeah...alright,” Taako admitted, leaning back into Angus’ embrace. “I love you too, kiddo.”

***

Lup hadn’t let her brother leave her sight that night. She and Taako had passed out on the couch where they lounged together like the pair of cats that slept on the other side of the room, Taako’s face squashed against his sister’s chest. Barry had fallen asleep in the recliner nearby, and his glasses were sliding lopsidedly off his face. After working with them for several years now, Kravitz knew that Barry was never eager to leave his wife’s side now that he had her back. Kravitz supposed Lup was now feeling similarly about her brother. He could relate. He wanted little else than to scoop the magical elf up and carry him to bed, but he wasn’t about to interrupt his cuddle puddle with his sister. Besides, Lup and Barry would likely head home in the morning, and the three reapers would resume their regular work schedule, and he would have the chance to be home more than he had been. He’d get his chance to hold Taako again, even if it wasn’t tonight.

It was alright. He couldn’t sleep anyway. He was glad to have Taako home, of course, but he couldn’t help but remember that the whole fiasco had been exacerbated by his own horrid communication. Much of the hurt Taako had been dwelling in these last several days Kravitz felt responsible for, and he knew it might take some time before Taako warmed up enough to trust him again, so for tonight, he’d let Taako sleep. 

Kravitz quietly let himself out of the room. If he couldn’t sleep, there was at least something he could do, something which he hadn’t done in several days, which always soothed his heart. He cleared away the music on the piano, sat down on the bench and, as quietly as he could so as not to wake anyone in the house, began to play.

***

Taako wasn’t really sure what awakened him at first, but when he heard the quiet hum of music coming from the other room he didn’t care. It was a sound he’d been resigned to never hearing again only hours ago, so waking up to it now seemed too good to be true. He took a shuddering breath as he realized just how badly he wanted to be with Kravitz now, and it was with some regret that he disentangled himself from Lup’s arms. She didn’t seem to awaken fully, but a pained expression crossed her face and she gripped him tighter as he moved to get off the couch. Taako gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, an unspoken promise that he wasn’t leaving, not for good this time, and even in her sleep she seemed to understand him, and her face relaxed as she let him go.

He padded quietly through the house, following the sound of the music. The melody was one he had never heard before, and it had a mournful, lonely sound, and it made him long for Kravitz even more. But before he reached the music’s source, he noticed light coming from under the door of the guest room. No, Angus’ room. Might as well finally call it what it was. It was way too late for that boy to still be awake, nevermind that Taako was awake himself. He sighed and decided that Kravitz could wait a few more minutes.

Angus jumped when Taako quietly pushed open the door. He was sitting in his bed with a fantasy flashlight in one hand and was gripping an old and tattered Caleb Cleveland novel in the other. His wide eyes and guilty look made him look like a kid staying up against his parents’ wishes. Taako leaned against the doorframe and picked at his nails.

“Look, pumpkin,” he said nonchalantly, “I know we don’t have a curfew for you or anything, but you really should be asleep by now.”

“I’m sorry, sir!” Angus said with an earnestness that betrayed his sincerity. “It’s just that, well, I couldn’t sleep, and I’ve been doing so much reading for research lately, trying to learn about how allergies work you know, and then trying to find you, I...I just wanted to read something fun for once. I know that sounds kind of silly, and I know you’re right of course, I should be sleeping, but…” His voice trailed off and he looked sheepishly down at the book. Taako raised an eyebrow. “I know it’s a kids’ book. I should probably find some more age-appropriate reading material…”

“Shut up, Agnes,” Taako said, quickly cutting him off. “Read whatever you want.” He went over to the bed and plopped himself down, leaning back over the kid’s legs. Damn, his legs had really gotten long. “Look, if reading that dumb kids’ book makes you happy, who gives a shit?”

Angus closed the book and set it down on the bed beside him. “It makes me happy to have you back home, sir,” he said quietly and with an affectionate smile. Taako wrinkled his nose. Gross. “Aren’t you happy to be back?” Angus asked with some concern.

“Better than a damp old cave, I guess,” he grunted.

“Mr. Taako, I’m sorry for asking, but...did you really think everyone would hate you if I’d died?” Angus was wringing his hands anxiously as he asked.

“Of course they would’ve. Who’d still want to be around cha’boy Taako after that?”

“That’s not true, sir!” Angus protested seriously. “Everyone here loves you!”

“And you think that’s enough, do you?” Taako snapped a bit more harshly than he should’ve. “The world’s a cruel place, Ango, and people leave. Even people who you thought loved you once.”

Angus hesitated, unsure if he should voice his thoughts, but after a moment he quietly did. “You sound an awful lot like John, sir.”

Taako looked at Angus sharply. Sometimes he forgot the boy knew about all those things. The comparison needled him, and he resented it. How dare this kid compare him to the Vore Lord? But then, maybe John had a point. Existence, sometimes, was terrible. So while the boy’s statement hurt, he didn’t argue it.

Angus took a breath and continued with conviction. “These people...your family, Taako...they’re a lot more forgiving than you might give them credit for. I mean, Lucretia’s done some awful things to all of you, but we managed to forgive her, haven’t we?”

Taako snorted. “Speak for yourself, Agnes.”

“Fair enough,” Angus conceded. “You have every right to still be angry, I know she hurt you a lot...But I know they would all still love you, even if you _had_ killed me.”

“Oh yeah?” Taako responded in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. He _wanted_ to believe Angus, he really did. “How do you know that, little man?” Angus gave him a little smirk.

“I’m Angus McDonald. I’m the world’s greatest boy detective!”

Taako chuckled and ruffled Angus’ hair affectionately. “Not much of a boy anymore though, eh?”

Angus leaned across Taako’s lap to wrap his arms around his mentor’s neck again. It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable if he was being honest, but Taako didn’t care. He clung to Angus, unsure if he ever wanted to let him go again.

***

Taako padded quietly towards the piano and sat down backwards on the bench, leaning against the piano with a nonchalance that was betrayed as fake by how careful he was not to rest his elbows on the keys. “What’s this song?” he asked casually, not looking at Kravitz as he crossed one leg over his knee.

“It’s...something new,” Kravitz responded slowly, still playing. “I don’t know, I just started playing what I was feeling.”

Taako listened a moment, his ears swiveling to take in the sound of the keys. “It’s sad,” he remarked. “Sounds like...longing.” Kravitz stopped playing, resting his hands on his legs with a sigh. Taako looked up at him, a bit alarmed that his comment had made him stop playing. “It’s good, though. Real good. You haven’t got to stop for me.”

Kravitz turned to look at him, the sadness in his eyes matching his song. “You know I love you, right Taako?”

Taako was surprised by the question. “Well, I mean, yeah, natch,” he answered casually, though his heart was suddenly pounding in his chest.

“And Taako...I need you to understand...there’s nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you.” 

Taako stared back at him with wide eyes. He seemed surprised - alarmed, even. “You don’t - you can’t know that, Krav,” he whispered.

“I do,” Kravitz insisted. “I absolutely do.” He scrunched his eyes shut and sighed, struggling to find the right way to express himself. Centuries alone with the dead still made it hard to communicate with the living. “Look, this whole experience has made me think. I believe you love me, Taako, and I love you too, desperately, and I love saying that to you, but...somehow I think you don’t entirely believe it yet. Lup and I talked while you were gone, and it made me realize that you and I express love in different ways. And as much as I love telling you I love you, I’m not sure that’s always getting through, so I need you to help me. I want to learn to show you my love better. What can I do to show my love to you?”

Taako gnawed at his lip, his ears twitching up and down as he tried to absorb the meaning of Kravitz’ words and formulate a response. “...I mean, that song you were playing was a good start.”

“My...my song?”

“Oh, deffo,” Taako insisted, sounding more sure of himself. “I might not be a music guy myself, but it was...there were a lot of feelings happening there, bone daddy. And I think...I think that song sounded like love.”

Kravitz smiled a little and put his fingers back on the keys. The melody he played was the same as before, but the tone was a bit different. It felt more hopeful and bright. Taako’s ears were perked up high, and Kravitz knew he was listening closely, perhaps more closely than he’d ever listened before. Several minutes went by before Taako, slowly and almost timidly, leaned to the side and carefully rested his head on Kravitz’ shoulder. Kravitz felt his heart take a wild, violent leap at the touch and his hands jumped and skittered across the keys. Taako’s ears swiveled back towards the sound a bit as he struggled to recover from the wrong notes. 

If Kravitz could communicate his love through music, Taako spoke with touch. Kravitz knew that. The elf reserved physical affection only for those he was closest to, but when that affection was earned it was poured out in gallons, and Kravitz was suddenly very aware that this was the first time Taako had touched him since coming home. The last time they’d touched had been when Kravitz had so carelessly ripped Angus from Taako’s hands. He felt very undeserving of this small show of affection as he remembered that, but Taako’s head on his shoulder was all he could think about. He’d been ignoring how desperate he had been for this moment, for just this small sign of trust, and now that he had it he couldn’t focus on the music, he couldn’t…

He stopped playing mid-phrase and before Taako could protest the music ending, he wrapped both his arms around Taako, holding him as tightly as he dared. He could feel Taako hesitate just a moment before returning the embrace.

“I hurt you, Taako, and I’m so sorry,” Kravitz whispered. “I hurt you, and I can’t undo that, but...I want to rebuild the trust we had. I want us to be okay. Do you...do you think we’re going to be okay?”

Taako nuzzled in closer and held him tighter, and with some surprise Kravitz felt the small rumble of a purr.

“Yeah, Kravitz. I think we’re going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HAPPENED! THE BOYS ARE TOGETHER AGAIN!
> 
> Please come share all your emotions with me in the comments. Your words give me life.
> 
> Also feel free to come yell (or cry) at me on [tumblr!](http://raychleadele.tumblr.com) I post chapter updates there if you want to reblog and share them, as well as lots of other TAZ stuff, and I welcome kind messages from anyone.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes. _This is it._ I'm not kidding, my heart is pounding right now. I started writing this story in April, and it's hard to believe I'm publishing the end of it now. Sharing this story has been an incredible experience, and I'm so grateful to all of you, my readers, for sharing it with me! Enjoy!

“It’s gonna take a long time,” Lup had told Kravitz. She wasn’t wrong, of course. In the remaining week that Angus was in their home for spring break, all but two nights ended with Taako curled around him, just to assure himself that the boy was still there. He usually tried to slink off in the mornings before Angus noticed he was there, but Angus always knew.

The first night that Angus was back at school, Taako tried going to his room again and nearly panicked when he found the bed empty. Kravitz tried to talk him down, to remind him that Angus was indeed okay, but Taako called him on his stone of farspeech anyway. It was after midnight when he called, and Angus answered in a confused, sleepy voice. “Oh, sorry - sorry, bubuleh,” Taako stammered into the stone, “cha’boy butt-dialed ya, go back to sleep, rest up for class or whatever,” and hastily hung up. But Angus knew.

Having nightmares wasn’t anything new, but the subject matter changed, and for a few weeks they were more frequent than they had been for a long time. Taako lost count of how many times he woke up sweating or screaming or crying. Kravitz was always there afterwards, happy to hold him until the tears and the trembling subsided, quick to tell him that the dream was a lie, that everyone was alright, that he was here and he loved him. Sometimes he would hum a new melody into Taako’s trembling ears as he stroked his hair. Taako usually was able to relax after that.

Most mornings after a nightmare Taako had no interest in making breakfast, or even eating for that matter. Kravitz insisted he eat anyway - Kravitz might be able to go without food, but Taako could not. A couple times Kravitz tried cooking breakfast for him, but on the best mornings Taako would laugh at him for burning the toast _again,_ and on the worst morning they had to hastily put out a kitchen fire. They usually went to Fantasy Denny’s for breakfast after that.

Lup dropped by almost daily, often bringing Barry with her, but not always. With her by his side Taako was able to ease back into cooking for family again. The rhythm of cooking with her was familiar and comforting, and she was always happy to act as his taste tester before he served anything. Kravitz, being dead, was obviously unqualified for the job, but Lup was just alive enough to confirm that his food was fine. It always was, of course, but she checked for him anyway. He never said so, but he appreciated how seriously she took the job. In the past she might have goofed him about it, might pretend to choke or something, but she didn’t anymore. With her help and reassurance, he hosted a family dinner for the old IPRE crew and Bureau folks only a few months after the incident with Angus and the cashews - eons faster than the years that had passed between Glamour Springs and the Candlenights on the moon when he’d finally worked up the guts to pass out macarons. The evening of this family dinner, he was nervous, though he disguised it well - but Lup did notice him stress drinking a bit more wine than usual. Everyone raved about his cooking as usual, and Taako preened under the compliments, but Lup saw the sigh of relief he breathed as the last guest left, still alive. “I’m proud of you, little bro,” she whispered to him before she and Barry left him alone with Kravitz. He wouldn’t admit it, but it was nice hearing her say so.

Taako wasn’t the only one who had to recover. There were days when the guilt hit Kravitz anew, and he usually responded by withdrawing to brood. A few times he stayed in the Astral plane much longer than he needed to in order to complete his work, too ashamed to face Taako knowing what pain he’d caused him. Other times he distanced himself at home, coming off as cold and unaffectionate. Taako often misread the signs and thought Kravitz was mad at him - he was very good at taking things personally, after all. Sometimes they fought about it. Taako would confess his recurring fear that Kravitz had fallen out of love while Kravitz insisted he wasn’t mad at Taako, of course he still loved him, he was mad at _himself,_ wasn’t that _obvious?_ The one time an argument broke out in front of Lup she immediately saw right through both of them to the source of the problem, and she wrangled them both down so they could have a real conversation. “Of _course_ you two idiots still love each other, quit acting like you don’t. Gods, I can’t believe I have to do your couples counseling _again.”_ Her brash counseling methods would have probably been frowned upon by professionals, but it seemed to work, and they argued less after that. Taako learned to recognize Kravitz’ quiet spells not as a lack of love but as self loathing - and _that_ was a feeling he was familiar with - and he learned to reassure Kravitz that he didn’t hate him for what had happened, while Kravitz learned to isolate himself less. A few hundred years of being alone with just himself and his work and his Queen made being vulnerable hard, but for Taako he made an effort, and things slowly got better. 

***

“How’s this taste, sir?”

Taako leaned over to taste the sauce Angus offered him on his wooden spoon. “Mmm, yeah, spot on, m’dude,” he said with a grin. “Just like Joaquin showed me how. You’re catching on quick. Go ahead and add that to the ground beef, would you?”

Angus beamed proudly and continued to follow Taako’s instructions. Kravitz slipped his arms around Taako’s waist and leaned his head over his shoulder.

“Anything I can do to help?” he asked.

“Sure, babe,” Taako replied, reaching for the tortillas. “Ah - hold on - babe? You gotta let go of me first.”

“Hmm? Oh, of course.” Kravitz reluctantly let go and Taako turned around, handing him the tortillas.

“Take these to the table, will you, salt man?”

“You got it, dear,” Kravitz said, placing a kiss on Taako’s nose before leaving with the tortillas. Angus pretended not to notice Taako blushing.

“Hey Ango, you go pour some drinks, will ya?” Taako said suddenly, prying his eyes away from his incredibly handsome retreating boyfriend. “I’ll finish up the filling.”

“Alright, sir!”

Taako stirred the simmering saucy mixture as Angus left the kitchen and grinned to himself. Angus was off school for the summer, and it was good to have him home again. He’d come home the day before, proudly showing off the passing grade he’d gotten in necromancy after Barry had helped tutor him. Even Kravitz was happy to hear that report, the old sap. It had been Angus’ idea for Taako to teach him how to make Joaquin’s tacos, and even though he still got anxious about cooking sometimes, Taako was happy to share the famous recipe with him. The kid was good enough at magic these days that he didn’t need Taako’s help much anymore, but damn, at least he could teach him to cook.

Taako was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to notice the bubbles in the pan had simmered to a stop.

“Wait - what the hell?” he muttered to himself, squinting at the unmoving food in front of him. He fiddled with the temperature dials for a moment but nothing changed. 

_“Taako.”_

He whipped around at the sound of the familiar voice. “Damn, you can’t go sneaking up on cha’boy like that!” he cried.

Istus was seated at the kitchen island, a smile on her face and her tapestry in her hands. “Taako, I wanted to show you something,” she said kindly.

“What’s so important you had to interrupt my family dinner?” Taako asked, but his curiosity overrode his accusatory tone. She smiled a little wider.

“Ah, but see? That’s the whole point.” She unfurled the fabric in her hands, draping it across the island countertop. Taako eyed her suspiciously, but stepped forward and picked up a corner of the tapestry after dusting off his hands.

A single thread caught his eye as it ran through the fabric, blue like sapphire. He ran his finger along it, studying its movement through the fabric, and after some time it intersected with another - this one pink and shimmering like a crystal. These two threads danced around each other for some time, and shortly afterwards were joined by a third - another blue thread, this one the fanciest thread he’d ever seen. The way it reflected the light was dazzling. But suddenly the three threads were torn apart, they seemed to travel in separate directions almost violently. Taako felt his stomach clench, but he kept following their trajectory and - yes, there. Right at the end of the tapestry, still attached to her needles, they converged again, this time so closely intertwined they seemed to form a single rope, inextricable from one another. He clutched the fabric in his hands and took a deep breath.

“So...yeah. So that’s what you were making all this time, huh?” he said, the tremble in his voice betraying his nonchalance.

“Last time we spoke, you were alone,” she said calmly, holding his gaze, unblinking. “I told you you didn’t have to be. I meant it. You don’t have to be alone, Taako. Never again.”

Taako took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah. Alright. Point made, homie.” He handed her the fabric which she folded delicately. “You, ah...you wanna join us for some destiny tacos, or whatever?” She chuckled.

“Thank you for the offer, Taako, but no. I’m not sure how mortal food would sit in my divine stomach, anyway.” Taako blanched and she quickly backtracked on her words. “Ah, no, I mean, nothing against your cooking, Taako, I’m sure it’s fine. I didn’t mean that at all.” She tucked the fabric under her elbow and patted him on the cheek. “You go enjoy dinner with your family, Taako, and I’ll go enjoy dinner with mine.”

“Ah, yeah. Alright. I - thanks for coming, Istus.”

She stepped back, still smiling at him gently. “Better check on that filling. Don’t want it to burn.”

Taako turned and sure enough, the sauce was simmering again. He stepped back to it quickly, picking the wooden spoon back up to give it another stir. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering if he should say something more, but Istus was already gone. With a shrug he turned off the burner and transferred the food to a serving dish. With the dish in his hands he took one last deep breath, then stepped out of the kitchen to join his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to say again how thankful I am for all of you. Whether you've been with me since the beginning of this story or if you've binge read it all at once, I'm thankful for you. The love and support this story has gotten has been wonderful. I love all of you. If you've been leaving comments regularly, believe me, I've come to recognize your usernames and I get excited every time I see another comment from you. You know who you are. But if you're not the commenting type, I want you to know I love and appreciate you, too! I watch those kudos and hits go up and I'm so glad to know people are enjoying this story and want to read it. I feel so lucky to have such a kind, supporting fandom to share this with.
> 
> If you're sad this one is coming to an end (as I am) don't worry! I've already got two shorts finished and ready to share in the coming weeks, and a couple more story ideas started which I can hopefully find the time to finish and share sometime soon after those. So keep coming back, because this story may be over, but there's still more stories to come.
> 
> And if you're not already, come follow me on tumblr! I'm also [raychleadele](http://raychleadele.tumblr.com) there, and I post tons of TAZ stuff there all the time. You're absolutely welcome to send me messages there, about my stories or about TAZ or anything really. I'd love to get to know you guys more. I love all of you!


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